Lindsay Lohan's Reality Show Was Gloriously Terrible, and We're Going to Miss It

'Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club' reportedly isn't coming back for another season because it didn't have "enough drama."
June 19, 2019, 4:52pm
Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club
Still courtesy of MTV

After one gloriously terrible season of Lindsay Lohan__'s Beach Club, in which we had the privilege of watching Lindsay Lohan spray her defenseless guests with a rose-gold champagne gun, relentlessly compare herself to Vladimir Putin, do a deeply, deeply weird dance called "the LiLo," and continue to inexplicably speak with a bizarre accent, it looks like the show has been canceled. Page Six reports that it won't be coming back for another season, partially due to the fact that there wasn't "enough drama," a source told the tabloid.

On its face, the show sounded like a surefire winner: Lohan hired a handful of conventionally attractive bottle girls and bartenders to come work at her beach club in Mykonos, stuck them in a house with a bunch of booze, and wielded the power to fire them at whim, placing them in the precarious position of being drunk, horny, and scared, all the time. That's a strong recipe for good trash TV—but unfortunately, according to pretty much everyone, the show wasn't fun-bad; it was just fully terrible. A month after the premiere, viewership had already dropped by about 60 percent.

Beach Club's failure might've cost Lohan her resort, too: Page Six reports that it won't reopen this season after it closed down last summer, when all the signs bearing Lohan's name were ripped down, the furniture got carted away, and the club was abandoned. One woman who visited told Vanity Fair she saw a "literal tumbleweed blowing through the place." Another described it as "stripped bare" and "left to the elements."

It's a bummer to see Lohan take yet another L in a long, long, long series of them, but it's probably good that she's getting out of reality TV. For someone who spent an inordinate amount of time on Beach Club talking about how she can't stand cameras, surrounding herself with them for weeks on end seems like, uh, not the best idea!

Either way, rest in peace, Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club. Sure, you might've have been god-awful—but we'll miss having a chance to see Lindsay Lohan at her most Lindsay Lohan, living it up in the sunshine, displaying a tenuous grasp of the English language, and "saving" sea creatures that are clearly dead by throwing their dilapidated carcasses back into the ocean.

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