If you thought 2018 couldn't possibly be worse than 2017, think again, because New Year's Eve marks the final day customers can enjoy Guy-talian Nachos and Donkey Sauce at Guy Fieri's Times Square restaurant.
According to Eater, Guy's American Kitchen and Bar will shutter its doors by January 1, after five years of offering tourists and people who don't know any better "hand crafted signature beers, killer cocktails, and rockin' tunes." In other words, the population of Manhattan's Flavortown will soon be zero.
It's sad news, as the restaurant has always remained relatively popular because of—or perhaps in spite of—its bad reputation. In 2012, fellow celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain visited the place twice, where he concluded that "it's single-handedly turned the neighborhood into the Ed Hardy district." That same year, Pete Wells, the New York Times food critic, infamously gave the establishment zero stars, in a review that was written as a series of questions posed to Fieri himself:
"Guy Fieri, have you eaten at your new restaurant in Times Square?"
"Hey, did you try that blue drink, the one that glows like nuclear waste? The watermelon margarita? Any idea why it tastes like some combination of radiator fluid and formaldehyde?"
"Why is one of the few things on your menu that can be eaten without fear or regret —a lunch-only sandwich of chopped soy-glazed pork with coleslaw and cucumbers—called a Roasted Pork Bahn Mi, when it resembles that item about as much as you resemble Emily Dickinson?"
Still, the restaurant always attracted its fair share of hungry customers and Fieri fans. In 2016, Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli dined there for two hours and livestreamed the entire thing. And this year, the second annual FieriCon saw its attendance swell as roughly 100 college-aged would-be Fieris barhopped around Midtown until they ended in Fieri's own American Kitchen. Before it closes down, those who want to experience the "turbo-charged action you need to make your NYE party go up to eleven" can shell out $119 for a ticket to eat at the restaurant on its last night and ring in the new year.
It's unclear why Fieri is closing the joint and resigning as New York's mayor of Flavortown, but in a statement obtained by the Times, he wrote: "I'm proud that for over five and a half years, Guy's American in New York City served millions of happy guests from all over the world. And upon the restaurant's closing, I'd like to say thank you to all of the team members and guests who made it all happen."
Never fear, though. It's not all a complete loss. You can still eat Fieri's food at places like a beach in Mexico or a casino in Philadelphia, and catch him licking his fingers at diners, drive-ins, and dives across the country. While we may have to say goodbye to his "high octane American roadhouse" in New York, we'll always have love, peace, and taco grease.
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