These National Orgasm Day Sex Toy Deals Will Make You Say 'Ohhhh, Yeah'

We feel pretty “meh” about those C-grade, non-bank day holidays, albeit with two exceptions: National Marzipan Day (January 12) and National Orgasm Day, the latter of which is this weekend, dude [blows dildo airhorn], and inspired a bunch of our go-to sex toy retailers to have some big, spank-bankin’ promos this July 31. 

Even if your second Hot Vaxxed Summer has been more vaxxed than hot, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve some big fat orgasms to blow off some (literal) steam. Luckily, it’s 2022, and getting off alone is easier than ever. While Earth’s top engineers haven’t been able to crack the code of time travel yet, that’s only because they had bigger fish to fry—like figuring out how to make clit-sucking vibrators that use magic air pulses to tickle your clit and beautiful home decor pieces that double as dildos. We don’t blame them for having their priorities in order. 

So take advantage of the goofy, made-up holiday that is National Orgasm Day, and get yourself a mindblowing (or any other kind of -blowing) treat at a massive discount from some of the top names in the sex toy game. You’ve been a good egg this year. 

Lovehoney is having a sale with up to 70% off sex toys, including the viral Womanizer clitoral stimulator, which uses its air pressure technology to gently stimulate the clitoris without ever making direct contact. It’s like being able to put masturbation on autopilot. 

Our favorite luxury Swedish sex toy retailer (could there ever be another??), LELO, is having a prime month sale with up to 50% off its thoughtfully engineered toys. “We will always be leading the charge for more beautiful, more pleasurable sex toys,” a representative told VICE about their design ethos, which is truly James Bond-worthy, “LELO is all about long, smooth lines, sleek and seductive shapes; something you would not be ashamed to leave lying around the house and have your guests see it.” We've written before about the magic cunnilingus-like powers of the Sona 2 Cruise and Ora 3. We’ve also hallelujah’d the existence of the F1S V2 before—a “pleasure console” that is so sleek and high-tech, you could absolutely display it on a shelf, your guests taking it for a Bang & Olufsen speaker.

Additionally, in celebration of National Orgasm Day, LELO is linking up with Intimina to give you a free menstrual Ziggy Cup—which prides itself as the only menstrual cup that can be worn during sex—when you buy LELO’s SILA clitoral vibrator. “Menstrual fluid also creates a natural moisturizer,” explained LELO, “making an orgasm wet, as it should be, especially for those who have difficulties with the lack of moisture.” 

For the remainder of the month, Ella Paradis is having a “Christmas in July” sale, which includes the Better Love Pixie Wand Massager, Better Love Booty Pop, Kama Sutra Massage Mediterranean almond candle, and, our personal favorite item, a mesh thong with a rhinestone drop. All of this would normally cost over $400 at checkout, but the Ella Angels are slashin’ it down to just $69.98.  

Also, don’t miss their back-to-school discount for “student beans”—20% off all Better Love products plus 15% off everything else on the site.

Zumio isn’t as well-known as, say, Adam & Eve when it comes to sexual wellness companies—but it’s famous for that rotating vibrator head technology that used an “ultra-fine tip [with] a spoon-shaped cup for exploring areas of the vulva, clitoris and clitoral hood” and claiming to stimulate “8,000 clitoral nerve endings just a few at a time.” Damn. Anyways, the brand is offering 20% off site wide during their “Hot Girl” summer sale.

That’s all... for now. (Link in bio for the petition to make this a bank holiday.) 

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.