Drinking My Way Through Sydney's Hardcore Bloody Mary Scene
All photos by Joshua Mellin

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Food

Drinking My Way Through Sydney's Hardcore Bloody Mary Scene

The garnishes are insane, the booze is strong, and these complex cocktails are way more than just hair of the dog.

I tried not to cringe when the girl next to me in the Sydney, Australia restaurant where we were eating explained to her friends that a Bloody Mary is just a “cold soup drink.” I realize that for many who swill the cocktail at brunches as an excuse to drink before noon, or reach for it as a last-ditch hangover cure, that’s exactly what it is—tomato juice and vodka slopped together in an indiscriminate blend that varies wildly in quality.

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It’s only been in the last few years that the drink, first introduced some 80 years ago in Paris (or so the legend goes), has made much of an impact in Oz. With an ever-growing cocktail culture across the board, bars and restaurants around the city have slowly been adding modifying their Bloody Marys to new and superlative heights. The Bearded Tit offers up a version with tear-jerking levels of spice. High-end cocktail bar Eau de Vive tops theirs with celery-infused cream. And in a nod to Instagram aesthetics, the Norfolk Hotel serves theirs in vintage cans.

READ MORE: I Started Milwaukee's Epic Bloody Mary Garnish Wars

But no one has pushed the Bloody Mary conversation in Australia forward quite like the aptly named Bloody Mary’s. Located in the art-friendly Darlinghurst district (with another location coming soon in Bondi Beach), the restaurant leans hard on the beverage’s brunch reputation, offering a slate of breakfast and lunch options in addition to a deep bench of takes on the titular drink. (For their part they also encourage night drinking with evening hours, and over-indulging with their tongue-in-cheek “Trifecta Hangover cure”—Berocca, Gatorade, and a Classic Bloody Mary.) Offered with a wealth of bloody options, and with our bartender Dylan acting as a spirit guide, we plowed our way through a significant portion of their drink menu. Here’s what we learned.

Bloody Hell
This one is Bloody Mary’s attempt to establish they are the undisputed champions of hanging stupid stuff off your drink. The feed-a-family-of four level of fixings include celery, an all-beef slider, a buffalo wing, shrimp, cherry tomatoes, and lemon. (The vegetarian version swaps out the slider for a mushroom/halloumi sandwich and the wing for a jalapeño popper.) What saves this drink from being an adorable party trick is its complex base (a theme across all the bar’s offerings). In this case, it was a combination of chile-infused vodka, tomato juice, lemon, lime, garlic, cilantro, palm sugar, fish sauce, Tabasco, and sriracha, together creating a spicy, sweet, velvety tingle with every sip.

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Cancun “Michelada”
Although the traditional Bloody Mary depends on vodka, many drinks on Bloody Mary’s menu play with the form. One of the best of these alt-Marys was the Cancun “Michelada,” which added in both tequila blanco and an entire bottle of Corona. You know, as a garnish. Also present were celery, shrimp, and lime, but these flourishes were difficult to note when you’re trying to figure out the exact beer-to-tomato-juice-to-tequila ratio. (While everyone has a different strategy, multiple tests on our behalf suggested the most efficient mixing method was to lift the bottle slightly while sipping to allow the beer to slowly filter into the beverage.) The resulting blend was one of the lighter mixes we sampled. Bubbly, a bit sweet, and—considering the Southern hemisphere is soon entering summer—damn near perfect.

Bloody Caesar
By the third Bloody Mary, the intensity of this project began setting in. In a fit of inspiration brought on by Bloody Caesar, I jotted down the word “smiley,” although later I couldn’t quite work out if I meant that the drink made me smile or whether I considered it the liquid personification of a grin. The salad-like qualities that come with mixing Ketel One Vodka, spice mix, lemon juice, Clamato juice, and Tabasco can’t be understated. Given that it’s garnished with lettuce, a boiled egg, a bagel crisp, tomato, and lemon, the drink clocks in as one of the bar’s “healthier” drink options, or so I’d like to think. My smile is near-saintly at this realization.

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Porky Pig
As both a lightweight and a vegetarian, I sit this one out, content to watch as my photographer happily sips away on the bacon-infused bourbon concoction garnished with a side of bacon. This is a meat-lover’s potable Inception. Joshua (my photographer) says as much, happily calling the drink “meaty” and declares that it really “packs a punch.” I shrug and steal an onion ring from the oil-soaked cone poking out of the top. Both of us ignore the celery.

Bloody Pirate
Ordered last, because the combination of Pampero Dark Rum and tomato juice seems like the kind of thing that goes either very right or very wrong. The daring blend (embellished with a salt rim and orange) made for an acidic and sweet sip—the perfect dessert drink for someone who hates sugary drinks. I’m not sure if it was the rum or simply the cumulative effect of all the booze we had sampled, but there was something about the Bloody Pirate that really did make me feel like a pirate. Argh, matey.

In the end, I think it all went to my booty.