Sports

Which Of These College World Series Names Are Real?

A quiz for connoisseurs of College Baseball Names, people that forgot the College World Series was a thing, and everyone else.
June 28, 2017, 12:57pm
Photo by Steven Branscombe-USA TODAY Sports

The College World Series wrapped up on Tuesday night, with the University of Florida beating LSU, 6-1, for a second straight win and the school's first College World Series title. This is the sort of thing that even fairly ardent baseball fans might not have known, because such people would presumably be watching Major League Baseball games instead of college baseball games. But all that really happened. It was exciting, and everyone involved was excited about it. Maybe you were watching the Milwaukee Brewers instead. That's understandable, they've actually been pretty good.

But, really, there is no good reason not to watch College World Series games, which as it happens are totally fun and far more dramatic than any other baseball game happening on Earth right now. Some people do watch them! But also there are all those other baseball games happening, and baseball names tend to blend into each other in a long chain of Caden's and Braden's and Aiden's and Chris-es, and anyway my point is that you shouldn't feel bad if you weren't completely locked in on the College World Series. There are a lot of things going on. You're probably very busy. Everyone is busy. It sucks, but what are you going to do, right?

That said, the quiz just below presumes that 1) you do not remember every name you saw during the College World Series, provided you were watching the College World Series, and 2) that you are familiar with the supremely expressive contemporary American art form of Baseball Names. We've been over this, many times, but if you watch baseball you know that baseball players are now being named in a more avant-garde way than at any time in history, and that naming technology is advancing at a remarkable rate. So: ten of the names in the quiz below belong to players on the final four teams in the College World Series, and ten are made up. The quiz is below this picture of an authentic College World Series person.

"Six of us are named Logan!" Photo by Steven Branscombe-USA TODAY Sports

College World Series Names: Real Or Not?

1. Scotland Church
2. Tayder Gramp
3. Cadyn Grenier
4. Rankin Woley
5. Sivven Blutooth
6. Navy Sporse
7. Durbin Feltman
8. Wilden Sirpeaza
9. Hunter Kiel
10. Gunny Fitzreilly
11. Slapp Boothe
12. Deacon Liput
13. Joel Figs
14. Dalton Horton
15. Brayce Peene
16. Elliot Willy
17. Wyoming Branch
18. Brennan Breaux
19. Camp Lunch
20. Dakota Donovan

Answers are under this photo of Juan Uribe posing with fans.

REAL: 1, 3, 4, 7, 9, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20
NOT IN THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIES BUT QUITE POSSIBLY REAL: 2, 5, 6, 8, 10, 11, 13, 15, 17, 19