Sports

KHL Player Executes Sliding Dab That is Delightfully Reminiscent of This Kid

The dab can go home now. Stop fucking dabbing, people.

by Liam Daniel Pierce
Dec 4 2016, 12:45am

The dab has been driven straight into the ground. This much has been proven by scientists. The dance move—originated in the Atlanta club scene—has now made its way into the farthest, whitest reaches of the world. Reaches so far and white that even hockey players from snowy Mother Russia are getting in on the (no more) fun.

Kontinental Hockey League forward Korotkov Evgeny, who plays for Salavat Yulaev, must've done something exciting, because he felt the need to dab. And it's a slightly different dab than we're accustomed to. Different enough to make you say, "Huh! Maybe this is a new dab!" But wait. It's not entirely different. It is in fact reminiscent of the most marvelous dab of all time, belong to none other than this kid:

There are different moments in history where there is a rupture in time and continuity—nothing from that point forward can ever be the same. Tech bros would try and convince you they invented the idea, which they call "disruption." But tech bros are stupid and there is no fucking way that they invented the concept of change.

That is because this kid invented the concept of change. He saw an opportunity, and literally brought dabbing to a new plane. His reaction is joyous, his decision to slide dab seems unscripted—even if he practiced that slide for days with his buddies—and he somehow suspends friction altogether. Not only that, but the dab is preceded by another equally trendy execution: the water bottle flip. He is a pioneer of fusion and change. He is the good in this world.

So, the only humble contribution I could possibly make to this bright moment in innovation is to fuse the two dabs together and loop it perpetually. I bring you the the KHL/Good Kid dab:

Theirs is a study in contrasts: the kid is in a warm climate; the hockey player is not. The kid has perfect dab execution; the KHL player looks like he's taking a nap. The kid has just achieved life's greatest goal: flipping a water bottle; Evgeny has only scored a mere goal (or something). They constitute the ying and yang that has brought about the unity of the dab.

This is all to say: the dab can go home now. Stop fucking dabbing, people.