Advertisement
Sports

Brock Osweiler Had a Historically Awful Return to Denver

Brock Osweiler had a Jesse Palmer-esque game. Which is, uh, not good.

by Joseph Flynn
Oct 25 2016, 5:49pm

"I just don't get it—I'm so good at Angry Birds. Photo credit Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

Blitzed from all sides by reports of low ratings and their own callous stupidity, the NFL was probably hoping for a bit more quality from Monday night's contest than the 6-6 tie between the Seahawks and Cardinals that fans were forced to suffer through on Sunday evening. Unfortunately for them, Monday's Broncos-Texans tilt featured the comedy stylings of Houston QB Brock Osweiler.

Osweiler threw for 131 yards in the 27-9 Denver win, which is quite bad, but not historically so. What raises (lowers) his performance is the fact that it took him 41 passes to reach that number. This puts Osweiler among the pantheon of quarterbacks who now call college games for ESPN:

"The only player in NFL history who had fewer passing yards in a game in which he threw at least 40 passes is Jesse Palmer, who was 18-for-43 for 110 yards against the Panthers in the Giants' final game of the 2003 season. That was the third and final start of Palmer's NFL career and it was the last game of Jim Fassel's NFL head-coaching career."

Clearly, the template for success has been set by the 2003-04 Giants. All the Texans have to do now is bottom out, dump Osweiler in the offseason, acquire a Manning brother through a draft-day trade and go on to win two Super Bowls.

Hold on, how much are they paying Osweiler again? Let's ask a Broncos fan:

Oh, crap. They probably aren't getting rid of the guy anytime soon. But, hey, the Denver defense does this to a lot of teams. They are the defending champs, after all, and they apparently broke reigning MVP Cam Newton and the Panthers in last season's Super Bowl. Hopefully this is just an isolated incident:

Oh, crap. The Texans boast one of the top wide receiver pairs in the league in DeAndre Hopkins and Will Fuller, so it's not as if Osweiler is without weapons. He might want to learn how to throw a football in their direction, as opposed to this:

[ESPN.com, Elias Sports Bureau]