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Axe the Farm

<b>What's up with this Hoof-and-Mouth disease or Foot-and-Mouth or whatever you call it?</b>

by Markus & Jen
Dec 1 2001, 12:00am


What’s up with this Hoof-and-Mouth disease or Foot-and-Mouth or whatever you call it?

It’s not a North American thing, not yet. Europeans are frantically trying to put a lid on it before it becomes as big as Mad Cow disease.

What is it?

Mad Cow disease came from feeding cows to themselves. It’s a brain disorder that literally turns parts of the brain to sponge. They call it Mad Cow because if you look at the cow over time you can see it get more and more vacant looking until it just collapses and dies.

You see, after they slaughter the cow and use everything possible like veins, nasal linings, intestines, cocks, clits, anus linings etc, they would have leftover parts; parts you couldn’t even put into sausages and wieners. Parts like the gristly cartilage, bones and the spinal cord. So what they would do with these parts is grind them down into paste and then add them to animal feed and sell it back to farmers.

The farmers didn’t know or care. They just saw cheap feed for their cattle that had high protein so they bought it. Of course with all this cannibalism there’s going to be problems. The major problem is that the Mad Cow disease is transferred to people who eat the infected cows. Because we are humans and so great we don’t call it Mad Cow disease but Kreutzfeld Jakob.

As a small-scale farmer who uses his own land to feed his animals, I can’t help feel like “I told you so.” Mass farming cattle is bound to lead to chaos.

Like with the manure. If you have hundreds and hundreds of cows in a small area, where are you going to put the shit? You can’t spread it out on the land as fertilizer. It will leak into the ground water like it did here in Walkerton, Ontario recently. The manure from excessive cow farming polluted the whole town’s drinking water. You had babies and old people dying and the entire town had to do without water for six months.

I don’t know what the solution is. I’m a vegetarian but I’m not naive. I know we couldn’t just kill the entire meat industry overnight. The economy couldn’t take it.

No I mean Foot-and-Mouth.

Oh. That’s the latest development in infected livestock. It’s incredibly contagious and it’s been spotted all over the UK, France, Northern Ireland and even Belgium. The British government is so worried about it they are telling people from the city not to go for walks in the country. Farmers are being forced to kill every animal they have. Entire businesses are being instantly ruined. In France they slaughtered 30 000 sheep this week alone.

Wow, you really went off there about Mad Cow but I meant Foot-and-Mouth.

Yeah, I thought you were talking about Mad Cow.

No, Foot-and-Mouth.

Oh, but it’s the same story anyway and the Mad Cow stuff is interesting.

Yeah it is. Their brains turn to sponge eh?

Yes please – same as with humans. It has only killed 30 people but it often stays dormant for twenty years so, by 2020, everyone in Europe is going to be a sponge-brained zombie.