Seva, the woman who taught the financial domination class. And a random piece of BDSM equipment she had.
Last week, I went to a financial domination class in Downtown Los Angeles, hoping to learn valuable lessons on how to empower myself. After years of getting screwed over by the Man, I was ready to screw the Man myself. The class was at a place called the Den of Iniquity, which is a BDSM club that also puts together workshops.
Financial domination, for the uninitiated, is a fetish where people (usually submissive men) pay money to a dominant female without any hope of sexual intercourse. The sheer thrill of being taken advantage of is enough to turn on the submissive male.
Most of the Den of Iniquity's workshops are on things like "cock and ball torture" and "whipping." But, as a poor person with an amateur interest in verbally abusing people, I figured I'd go learn about financial domination. I go on drunken rants where I insult men all the time. Why, just the other night I sent a drunk text to my ex saying that we'd probably still be together if his dick was as big as his ego. So if I can make a few dollars doing what I love, why not?
The lecture was about to start, and only eight of us were in attendance. For such a small group, we ranged greatly in age, ethnicity, and level of experience. Our instructor, a woman named Seva, asked us to introduce ourselves briefly.
The two other BDSM-workshop first-timers in attendance didn't mention that 50 Shades of Grey had brought them there, but I got the feeling it had. Amazingly, only one girl was wearing leather. I couldn't tell if she was a professional dominatrix, or one of those people that feels like they have to dress up for any “kooky” event they go to. Like those Village Voice types who follow every food truck on Twitter, attend free seminars, and wear saris on Diwali. The oldest woman in the room seemed to be the most experienced. She was a giggly, middle-aged blonde, who told me that her current specialty was "mommy kink for men into infantilism." However, a guy had recently bought her a Mercedes, which sparked her interest in financial domination (which would spark my interest in anything, TBH). Another girl told us she is a dominatrix, but is also currently in school studying to be a video game designer. So a real potpourri of sadomasochists were in attendance.
The class was three hours long. In that time, here are the top things I learned:
Financial Slaves are not sugar daddies
Our instructor, Seva (pictured above[!!!]) is, she says, considered one of the leading fin-dommes (financial dominatrixes) in the world. She's been in the business for twenty years.
At the class, she entered the room and began writing what it means to be a financial slave on a tiny whiteboard. It read, “Submissive/male who fetishizes spending money on dominant females, or women in general, or gives money and gifts without receiving any sexual contact in return.”
She continued to write that this is different from a “sugar daddy” because there is no exchange, or expectation of sex in return. Often, there is no physical contact of any kind between a fin-domme and her slave.
She went on, “the slave's motivation for spending is rather the humiliation of spending money on her... this fetish stems from the male feeling inadequate, like he can't measure up in some way.” Often, these men tack on financial slavery to another fetish they already have. Like when you buy an energy drink at the gas station, and the cashier says, “if you get another it's half off"
A fin-domme's interaction with her slave will often be more than simply taking his money, but also taunting him over the phone or through email. Whatever he's into, you have to do it. Small penis humiliation, cuckolding, and even making sure he stays chaste are all part of the fin-domme game.
Financial slaves are real people with real problems
I wasn't allowed to take pictures during the class. So here's a selfie I took after with some of Seva's BDSM stuff.
During the class, I asked Seva if she could elaborate on what she meant by slaves feeling inadequate. Her examples were men who are fat or socially awkward. If not that, then maybe they come from a powerful family and feel like they can't live up to their family's expectations, or maybe they're recently divorced.
She surmised that, in their subconscious, being a financial slave is a solution. These men don't want to have to perform sexually because of how small they feel. This often becomes an addiction. They want to ruin themselves, to constantly be on the brink of losing all that they have, in order to satisfy women who could care less about them. I was shocked to hear her be so blunt and so guiltless.
These are not the kind of men I want to destroy. I initially imagined all fin-slaves to be wealthy business men. Men who are in the position of taking charge all day, and are real assholes about it. I only pictured investment bankers with slicked back hair who own several pairs of snakeskin loafers and laugh as they kick poor families out of their homes. Men who can give someone $10,000 like it's nothing, and desire being spit on because deep down they know they are filth incarnate. I was going to be very Robin Hood about this. Take from the rich, and give it to the poor (i.e. myself.)
Later on in her lecture, Seva made me feel a little more assured. She reminded me that whatever the reason for these men's inadequacies, at the end of the day, this is what they want. They get off on-–as she explained-–sexualizing their greatest fears, which are: a woman having power over them, and losing all their money.
That's why, as a fin-domme (or princess, pay princess, money domme... fetishists always seem to have lots of terms for things) you have to establish with your slave (or pig, idiot, loser, wallet, etc.) that you don't need his money. Never beg for it. Demand it, but make sure he knows that not giving you his money will have no effect on you (lie to them, basically).
This Is Actually a Tough Job
More random BDSM stuff
Seva spent a long time talking about all the gifts she receives. She said that her home is filled with stacks of unopened boxes (I assume she meant the boxes contain gifts, but maybe she just keeps asking men to buy her sealed boxes). Her career has gotten to the point where she can live solely off of her slaves. She also did us the favor of listing the best sites to advertise yourself on and the various ways to accept payment.
She doesn't recommend PayPal, but, she said, other electronic payment sites like GiftRocket.com are great. Seva went on to warn us that this job looks easy on paper, but in actuality is not that simple. Aside from all the advertising and the overwhelming competition among other dommes, you have to also be aware of the legal ramifications. Know your limits-–what you can and can't do, when it comes to things like blackmail (which a lot of men desire), access to credit card information, etc. Aside from that, you have to make sure your real name, address, and phone number are not easy to access as some of these men can be dangerous.
Slaves can also be taking advantage of you
Even more BDSM stuff
For the last third of the class, Seva brought in one of her own slaves to speak to us. A real pay-pig was on display for us to look at and examine.
She gave him the floor, and we got to pick his brain a little. Right away, the guy opened up with a Nietzsche quote. “The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” I instantly knew I was not going to like anything else he had to say. He gave his perspective on being a slave, and spoke of the rush he gets when a woman tells him to do something. He said that his number one fantasy is to run errands for a woman, and even sign over the lease of his condo to a woman. He then went on a small rant telling us that women are great at manipulation, and humiliation. Being a woman's slave, “appeals to her vanity,” he said.
He emphasized that the manipulation goes both ways. Men play naïve, just as much as women play rough. I left the workshop knowing I would probably never be able to put the effort and time into this lifestyle.
Seva was a wonderful instructor. She was honest, clear, and made financial domination incredibly enticing. But, at the end of the day, this has to be something you really love. It has to get you going as much as you get these guys going. Basically,you can't half-ass it, which is what I tend to do. Just the thought of setting up a GiftRocket account is sounding like too much work. I think for now, I’ll stick to angry, drunken, man-hating rants in the middle of the night with no material benefit. A much better plan.
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