HUNX AND HIS PUNKETTES HIT THE ROAD

You've probably heard of Hunx and his Punx, the band led by Seth, aka Hunx, formerly of the mighty Gravy Train!!!. If you're 15, just starting to like music and don't know about Gravy Train!!!, you might recognize Hunx from his appearance in Girls' "Lust For Life" video. That's his penis being used as a mic. Anyway, he's writing us a tour blog. Here's part one!

HUNX AND THE PUNKETTES DAY ONE - LOS ANGELES

My crotch is exploding with moisture. Actually my entire body is. The Punkettes came up with this idea that we would only bring one outfit on tour and shop every day for a new one. "The Fashion Challenge" we called it. Me, being the idiot I am, wore plastic weight-loss gear from the 1960s: really well fitting, jumbo black plastic shorts which I'm pretty sure you're supposed to wear while you work out to help sweat off the pounds. More like Fashion Challenged.

The top I chose was a long-sleeved white plastic thing. I guess it's kind of fetish wear? I don't know, it's made in China. Anyways, by the time we got from San Francisco to LA I was drenched in sweat and pee. At the show I kept making guys stick their hands down my shorts and their hands would resurface damp and stinky. Erin and Amy opted to wear more practical things. Erin made her own jeans and Amy wore this awesome sequined dress that a cool old black lady sold to my store Down at Lulu's.

The other day we played at a party in Highland Park with this band of high school kids called Audacity (love them!) and DUNES, who have one of my favorite girl drummers, Kate Hall, who used to be in Mika Miko. We dressed up like Chippendales at the show and I kissed a couple of guys and got some others to take off their shirts. We didn't manage to get any photos of the awesome bands we played with, but we did document this girl with serious Ronnie Spector hair goin' on.

I don't remember anything else besides our manager-slash-video star Brande working the door and making us the big ones.

After the show we headed to the Shangri Lodge where my friend Jonny lives. It's across from the Celebrity Scientology Center so I felt very comfortable. I peed in my underwear so much that I threw them in a trashcan next to the vending machines. Then I passed out and woke up next to Jonny's hairless cat who I fondled for a while. Over the course of this whole time, I could NOT make my boner go away. I had to do something about it, and let me tell you, there's nothing like a tiny eight-pound hairless purring furiously on top of your face while you blow a three day gay-load all over your stomach. I'm not "into" cats, but they're "into" me… I can't explain it. Finally I got out of bed and decided to get a pedicure and maybe some air brushing. There were too many choices!

After that I went to a cheesy punk store on Melrose that sells bootleg Vivienne Westwood "Seditionaries" tees. I got one of King Kong jacking off and another of hot hairy gay dudes with huge cocks fisting. My look for the day was complete. COOL!

We went to pick up the two girls at the Rosebowl flea maket. They basically looked like the Olsen twins. I guess they're winning the Fashion Challenge. Man, Mary Kate and Ashley were so head of their time.

Next Stop - SAN DIEGO!

HUNX

Hunx and The Punkettes have released a series of killer bubblegum singles about things like picking up boys, ditching boys, and trying to turn straighties; all of which you can find on the excellent Gay Singles record out on True Panther.