How Would You Hold Up in a UK Prison?

A Romanian prison with an inviting red gate. (Image via)

A story came out of the UK yesterday about youth offenders being "exposed to unacceptable levels of violence" at a privately-run institution near Bristol, in South West England. Everyone already knew prisons were pretty violent places, but now that the violence is being deemed "unacceptable," it's safe to say that correctional institutes—especially youth ones, apparently—are places you should probably try your hardest to avoid.

But should you somehow find yourself in one, how do you think you'd hold up?

Grant: How would I hold up? I don’t think I would.

You wouldn't have anything to help you get through it?
Uh… I’d probably just work out and get muscly—that’s it

What about an escape plan?
I’d probably think about it a lot, but escaping from jail is a notoriously hard thing to do.

Not if you have the will power. 

Steven (didn't want his photo taken): Very badly.

Have you ever done anything that could land you there?
No.

You sound guilty.
Yeah, but you’re recording. Look, we've all done stuff we're not proud of, and some stuff we don't care about—and being caught doing some of that stuff could land you in jail.

You’re not going to tell me what it was, are you?
No.

Karina: Oh god—I don't know. I’d probably bribe someone to be my bodyguard. That's about the only way I'd cope.

How would you go about doing that?
I’d just give them cigarettes, that's the standard prison bartering tender.

Very true. Good plan.

Sarah: I think I’d get sick of the food.

Is that your main worry?
No, I think I’m a pretty tough girl. I’ve been through a lot, so I think I could hold my own.

Have you ever done anything illegal before?
Not really, no.

Not really?
No comment. I did something when I was about 15 that could probably be construed as illegal.

Tony (didn't want his photo taken): Well, it depends on how you got there in the first place, doesn't it? It also depends if you had support. If you had support inside then you should be alright.

Like joining a prison gang?
No, that’s not what I meant by support

What did you mean?
I’m talking about the Christian faith—that kind of support. That should see you through.

Have you ever done anything illegal?
No, I don’t do that kind of thing because I have a law degree, so I wouldn’t do that.

And you’d recommend that other people don’t do that as well?
Yes, I’d recommend that other people don’t do it because, a) you’re going to put yourself in harms way, and b) there’s a societal impact in terms of tax, because it’s the tax payers' money that funds your stay in prison. And that’s a drain on resources.

That's very conscientious of you.

Previously - What Do You Think About Critiquing Naked Women on TV?