Let's face it, the university experience is not really about the academics—at least not for most people. It's about learning who we are as individuals. What kind of things we like, what we want out of life, whom we like to bone—and what kinds of drugs give us the best buzz and what kinds leave us fidgeting in our chair while checking over our shoulder every 30 seconds.
The last question is especially crucial for anybody who's stepped foot onto the campus of a post-secondary institution, as the university years are usually the period where you try a cap of the "good shit" that your friend gives you at the party, only to end up in your dorm room at 3 AM curled up in your office chair while crying to pictures of Prince in your boxers.
This is precisely why a student who's into that scene should have a solid dealer he can trust. Thankfully, I happen to know a very profitable (and nice) dope dealer who attends Toronto's Ryerson University with me who was willing to chat about his experience of mixing business with academia.
The dealer, who likes to go by the name Robbie, is well spoken, humble, and in a really good program. He spoke with me late last month to spill the details on his shadowy life.
VICE: Let's start at the beginning. How'd you get into drug dealing?
Robbie: Well, I'd just started grade 10 when I got into smoking weed, which led to me dealing really small amounts. I kind of continued doing that through high school with bigger portions until I got to university. That's when I realized how much money I really could be making. Now, I always keep myself stocked. It's definitely paid off.
Paid off? How much are we talking here?
The way I do it is a little different from most people. My [supplier] gives it to me all on the spot—about five ounces of weed at a time—and I clear that in about two weeks. I keep about $500 or $600, depending how much money I spend moving the stuff, and then I return the rest of the cut to him.
You talked about keeping stocked. Is weed your only product?
Mainly weed, but I deal other things. Coke sometimes, MDMA, prescriptions—stuff like that. They're just riskier to have on me and aren't as in demand all the time. If I get a request, I'll pull through.
What's your client base like? Being that they're mostly students, I assume.
I get all kinds of people, honestly. It's really cool because almost everybody buys drugs; they just do it for different reasons and in different amounts.
Care to elaborate?
Well, I think a lot of people think people just buy weed and coke and stuff like that to party, but there's more to it. Like, Vyvanse is big around exam time for kids to study or pass a class. It's not just fuckups, y'know? There's a lot of bookworms and really smart kids who just need to focus, I guess.
How much does dealing interfere with your school life?
It really doesn't at all. Drug dealing isn't all that hard for me. It takes maybe 15 minutes to put everything into dime bags for the week. The most difficult part is just working around people's schedules and making deliveries, but it's really not that much of an issue.
What's the biggest obstacle for you?
Not touching my own stuff. I like to smoke weed, but I try not to get into my own goods because it's a slippery slope. My grades have taken a hit because of my habits of slacking off already from smoking, so I don't do the other stuff too often.
Do you ever get hit on by girls or guys who try to use sex to pay for drugs?
Literally all the time. I just had a girl offer me head for some free weed. I honestly feel like a king.
Right before this phone call, for real.
Do you use any of your drug money to pay for school stuff?
Yeah, I pay for, like, almost all of my expenses through dealing. I use it to feed myself, to go out, to buy clothing, books, supplies, leisure. Really anything that's not directly tuition. My parents pay for that.
Has being in college improved your profits compared with high school?
Definitely. I used to live in residence [last term] so it was easy access—people would literally come knock on my door for drugs, and there were parties in the building every night. I was always in demand. A lot of people were buying weed through there, but prescriptions were pretty big too. I can sell a $60 bottle of pharmacy pills (Vyvanse, Adderall, Xanax, etc.) for, like, $300 or $400.
What about now?
Well, things have slowed down. It's summer, and most people are away from the city, and being out of residence definitely makes things a little tougher. I know I won't be making as much money this year, but I'm kind of trying to wind down anyway so it's probably for the best.
So you're trying to exit the game?
Yeah, man. I don't want to do this forever. I kind of feel shitty having to do this as my primary source of income, even when it does make me so much. I want to be able to show to my parents that I can actually go on to do something respectable. It just makes me feel really crummy sometimes to look and see that money is really all I have to show for it.
You don't regret dealing though, do you?
No way, man. My favorite part of this job is all the cool people I meet. Like, a couple weeks ago, I met this professional gamer, and he's helping me with League of Legends because I want to get good at it. So I cut him a discount, and he teaches me how to play. That kind of stuff happens all the time.
It's sort of like a back-and-forth relationship.
Totally, and that's just one of them. I've met so many great and interesting people doing this. It's so fucking cool, honestly. I don't think I'd have as many friends and acquaintances as I do now if it weren't for dealing. Definitely been the highlight of university for me.
You have close relationships with your customers. Aren't you ever worried about getting jacked?
Definitely, I am always worried about getting robbed—I've got robbed before—but I don't sell to people I don't know anymore. Like, there's no way I'm busting out more than a third [of an ounce of weed] to a random.
Do you ever sell to first-timers? People that know nothing about what they're buying?
[Laughs] That happened yesterday, actually. A friend of my friend didn't know how much weed he was getting for the price, and I totally could have screwed him. I didn't, but the opportunity is always there, with first-years especially.
Any stupid code words? I imagine you get a lot of "You got the stuff?" sorta lingo.
All the fucking time. It's actually hilarious. One guy always tells me he wants "the pasture."
Does he mean weed?
To finish off, what's the weirdest request you've ever got?
I've been asked for LSD a few times. But horse tranquilizers, that shit was crazy.
Why'd they want horse tranquilizers?
Didn't say. But why do most people want drugs? Horse tranquilizers would be pretty cool, I guess.
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