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Sports

Rob Gronkowski Stars in a New Music Video and It Is Peak Gronk

There are, truly, no words for this.

by Sean Newell
May 24 2017, 4:22pm

Screencapture via 3lau YouTube

New England Patriots tight end Robert "Gronk" Gronkowski is no stranger to working in front of the camera. He's been on TV's Entourage, appeared in a budget film called You Can't Have It, and now he's appearing in a music video for "On My Mind ft. Yeah Boy," a track by something called 3LAU. Please soak it up.

To give you a brief plot synopsis of the video, Gronk shows up to a bar and sits down next to an attractive woman who seems receptive to his presence. He then orders two of something, and the bartender returns with two different drinks. They cheers and set off on a wild journey.

Or, at least, Gronk does. He begins fantasizing about his life with this attractive woman who seems receptive to his presence, a life that includes this three-frame sequence in which he is washing his car (license plate: GRONK) with the woman and her equally attractive and receptive friends:

Screencapture via 3LAU YouTube

Screencapture via 3LAU YouTube

Screencapture via 3LAU YouTube

Unfortunately for Gronk, while he is daydreaming, the woman is still talking to him. While still attractive, she is beginning to get less receptive to his presence. He is able to avoid disaster, but only for a moment, before once again trailing off into fantasy. This one includes being covered in sushi and being fed sushi by the woman and her friends. I think he at one point does a sushi shot, which I was unaware was a thing.

This latest space-out is a bridge too far for the attractive woman, who is now not receptive at all to his presence. She throws a drink in his face and storms off in disgust. Gronk makes a last-ditch effort to win her back, but he falls down, once again drifting off into la la land. It involves trampolines, attractive women, balloons, and pillows.

Gronkowski played in eight games last season, finishing the season with 540 yards on 25 catches, and three touchdowns.

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