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Blessed Be: Astrologers Announce Scorpio Clinton Will Be President

"Trump has nowhere to go in an astrological sense."
Unreasonably good illustration by Callie Beusman

Today, people all over the country are lining up before their altars to pray to their respective goddesses for the candidate of their choice. But, according to astrologers across the globe, the stars have already predicted a win for Scorpio Hillary Clinton over Gemini Donald Trump.

At a conference hosted by the International Society for Astrological Research, astrologers explained their prediction.

"Hillary Clinton will win. I give it 100 percent," US-based astrologer Edith Hathaway, who correctly predicted Barack Obama's win in 2008, told the LA Times. The alignment of Jupiter and Saturn within months of a presidential election or inauguration, she explained, was good news for whichever political party was in power.

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Vivian Carol, an astrologer based in North Carolina who also pegged Clinton as the winner, has expressed concern over Clinton's well-being, despite her predicted win. In her weekly horoscope, she writes, "Unfortunately, [Clinton] has aspects during 2017 that suggest ill health and the VP might have to work double-time." She also writes, "Trump has nowhere to go in an astrological sense."

"He is nearing the end of a 30-year soul cycle," Carol explains her reasoning to Broadly. "Most of us lose interest in things we've been involved in at that point."

Readings of his personal chart have determined Trump is astrologically from Mars. Lada Duncheva, a London-based astrologer who predicted Clinton's win, said in a YouTube video that Trump comes across as "uncouth" and like he "doesn't give a shit" because his planet is a "vagabond planet, a hooligan planet."

Clinton, on the other hand, is from Venus, the planet of love; therefore, she's more of a smooth talker and can come across more appealing, the astrologer explained. While Duncheva described both candidates as "intense," she also pointed out that between the two, she'd be more afraid of Clinton because she has "hidden … vicious energy there that she'll not hesitate to use."

It's going to be so emotional. People are going to be crying all day long once that happens.

She continued: "[Clinton] has a really difficult conjunction: Mars, Saturn and Pluto together—that's considered ruthless, and it's in the sign of Leo, of rulership, and she'll be ruthless … to be on top."

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While that may or may not be the case, it's ultimately up to voters today to pick the next president. To find out what to expect at the polls, we turned to Broadly's own staff astrologer Annabel Gat. She says the day kicks off with the moon in Aquarius. "Aquarius is very intelligent, cool-headed. It's an air sign so it's very logical. I think the vibe in the beginning of the day is going to be one where everyone's going to be like, 'It's going to be what it's going to be, and we all just need to sit tight and see what happens.'"

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However, around 4:45 PM EST, the moon will enter Pisces. "When we think of Pisces, we just think of tears flowing," Gat explains. "We're going to go from one extreme to the other. Aquarius is very scientific and very logical, and then we're going to enter Pisces, and it's going to be so emotional. People are going to be crying all day long once that happens."

During the time period of the moon transitioning from Aquarius to Pisces—when it's not connected to any planet—things are not going to feel like they're in control, Gat says. "When this happens, things can go awry; things can get unpredictable." But, she asserts, "We have a void moon every two or three days, so it's not something we don't know how to deal with."

Gat also predicts a Clinton win based on her reading of the stars and "my faith in humanity."