Most humans are powerless to resist the urge to poop. When duty calls, we're usually forced to drop a deuce at the closest place to squat, whether that's in some claustrophobic airplane bathroom, in the street, or, God forbid, in our pants. But faced with an intractable dilemma—either hold it in, or go to prison—one London man with a will and a colon of steel beat the odds, managing to avoid letting one go for 47 straight days, Metro reports.
The fecal fiasco started out back in January, when British police arrested 24-year-old Lamarr Chambers after he fled the cops in his car and allegedly swallowed drugs during the chase. They charged him with possession with intent to supply Class A drugs, tossed him in a cell, and waited for him to pass the evidence—but Chambers refused to poop.
The cops plied him with food and water, expecting his bowels to let up sometime, but as the days rolled by, he still wouldn't give in. What seemed like a joke at first escalated into an apparently deadly situation—one shit-free week snowballed into more than a month without a movement. While the cops updated the public on the latest developments in the #poowatch saga, Chambers's attorneys begged the court to let him go, claiming that there was "potential of something going seriously wrong," the Independent reports.
"We’re in an arena of risk of death," the attorneys reportedly said.
Finally, after Chambers went 47 days without pinching a loaf—breaking a British record for the most time spent in police custody without deucing—the cops caved. They stuck him in a squad car and rushed him to the hospital, where a team of medical professionals did whatever the hell you do to treat someone who hasn't pooped in six weeks.
Police rearrested Chambers on new, lesser drug charges, and he's since been released on bail. Though he might never be able to control his bowel movements again, against all odds, against all things decent and sane, he emerged from his self-imposed shit strike semi-victorious. To the police, perhaps, he's a villain—but to the everyday folks who have followed his saga since day one, he's kind of a hero.
Sign up for our newsletter to get the best of VICE delivered to your inbox daily.
Follow Drew Schwartz on Twitter.
Related: The Mad Pooper of Colorado Springs