YOUR HIGHNESS SNEAK PEEKS - MAGIC, MOTHERFUCKER

On a break from filming, David Gordon Green half-jokingly scanned the set in search of James Franco. There he was as usual: Sprawled out in the castle's pews reading a book. Franco barely looked up when his name was called. James Franco may or may not have been reading Learning to Be White: Money, Race and God in America. Earlier that day, when he sat down in a production room to answer questions about Your Highness, he had placed a copy on the table in front of everyone. Or no one. From the start it was clear the chat was merely a job obligation.

On the subject of his character Prince Fabious, feted brother to Danny McBride's Prince Thadeous, he didn't have much to say. "Originally, the film was just about one brother, one screw-up. Then David wanted to make it a two-header type of thing when he came on [as director]. It would just be a one-note joke if Fabious had remained perfect. Originally he was much more self-centered." Franco spoke with confident disinterest, letting answers bounce up to the ceiling, float around in the grand study lounge where his mind resided. "You'll have someone like Danny McBride, who's a very funny comedic actor. And then you'll have Toby Jones who's normally in dramas; a very heavy, weighty actor. And that kind of contrast is on every level. And when you're improvising, you're feeling your way."

Hey man, they say you're an avid reader. What about works of fantasy? "When I was a kid, I read all of the Oz books, and then I read all of Tolkien. That was about it. Those two, to me, were incredible worlds. And then, I guess in fourth grade, I played with my share of dragons. The Harvard Lampoon wrote a novel based on The Lord of the Rings, but I actually wrote a play, with one of the head writers for SpongeBob. Tonally, it was sort of like Your Highness: Lord of the Cockrings. But it never really happened."

Back on the set/kingdom, I watched as Fabious guarded his aloof love interest, Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel), on a bright red carpet against the movie's end boss, known singularly throughout the the land as Leezar (Justin Theroux). A wizard of remarkably generic evil, Leezar was present to interrupt the couple's joyous occasion Kill Bill style. He not only stared down Prince Fabious's sword, but also the drawn crossbow of Fabious's father, the King (Charles "Ol' Smiley Eye" Dance). These mortals' wack defenses didn't mean shit. Leezar couldn't believe these people were entirely ignorant to his might. Must he remind them? Leezar tilted his head thuggishly and bragged, "Magic, motherfucker." At that moment, a loud temp-effect of electric current sounded throughout the set as Leezar zapped Fabious with his staff, designed with the movie's recurring hands-and-dicks motif in mind.

Several takes followed with slight variations. According to Green, no part of the film so far had required more than twelve takes. He expanded on the intricacies of Leezar's control over Belladonna. "They have a 'get to know each other' night in his lair. She's been away with Fabious for a week at the castle, and now she knows what it's like to live a wonderful life after being a prisoner for so many years. We're approaching it like she's a small town girl who's gone to Paris to study abroad and comes back to her boyfriend. And she's gotta explain what she thinks is so amazing about Paris. And Leezar's just like, 'Yeah, but those cocksuckers just sleep around' [laughs]."

Justin Theroux, best known as the pretentious, black-clad director in Mulholland Drive, sat down for an interview carrying a plate of chile con carne from craft services. He was in full costume, glammed out in purple reptilian regalia, and wearing a long wig of black and premature gray, parted down the middle and curled into limp spirals. Watching him eat in itself was a retarded sensation, like sitting next to late-era Davey Havok at Chipotle. "I feel like a fucking Girl Scout," said Theroux. "Look at my boots. Little spiderwebs all over." Semi-involved with creating the character's look, he summed it up as "Just fucking villainy." Medieval Zubaz isn't far off. "We basically didn't know what to do, so we figured Leezar's probably, like, 200 years old, the normal kind of thing. And then we watched Coppola's Dracula and tried to steal from that. Like, let's make his look like Gary Oldman's Dracula, but enough so that we're directly taking from Gary Oldman [laughs]. The danger in this kind of movie is you put a blow job joke in every five minutes and it stops being funny. I'm basically playing it straight. If you're going to use a curse word, it has to be specifically planted, and I feel like the script has those kind of legs. It's not stupid--I mean it IS stupid--but it's intelligently done. Leezar speaks in speeches most of the time, so it's a bit annoying not being able to go off the cuff. But we're wearing capes and shit. I have dragon eyes at one point. The real power is at the end, with the eclipse. That's when I'm at my most magic." I took the invitation to walk up the stairs of Leezar's "Tower of Disorder," a spacious sex den of metal curtains and gloomy baskets of shrooms and dried herbs. A fuck bed was outfitted in furs, accessorized with a tortoise penis. The whole shebang was vaulted impressively atop a giant glowing crystal and the ceiling seemed like it would open to embrace the witching hour any minute.

"We'll see how the movie does with females," said McBride. "We have Franco with his shirt off. I think we have some great female roles. Weirdly, one of the things with Eastbound & Down was that HBO's numbers for women held strong the first season. Hopefully some of that rubs off." Natalie Portman had wrapped her scenes before I arrived on set. Back in Manhattan, production was just ramping up on Black Swan. In an odd casting twist, Portman had been attached back in the summer of '08 to star as the lead dancer in Green's planned remake of Dario Argento's Suspiria. While the remake remains on his radar--Green doesn't feel the original is untouchable as many fans do--Portman is no longer involved. In the aftermath of Black Swan's financial success and accolades, it seems there's no rush. But was a rivalry brewing? Last fall, when I visited the set of Green's The Sitter in Long Island City (a Jonah Hill coke-run comedy due this August), Green admitted to being, well, nonplussed by Swan. (Personally, I think the flick clinches Darren Aronofsky as the art-house charlatan of a generation. His films simply don't hold up). Green may sharpen his teeth on a drama soon enough but for now he's taking a breather. After wrapping Your Highness in the winter of '09, he went on to film three episodes of Eastbound Dos in Puerto Rico, and closed out the year with The Sitter. Up next? McBride and Jody Hill are said to be scribing the third and final season in Kenny Powers' saga. Production on EB&D 3 is tentatively scheduled for the end of the year for a 2012 premiere. Meanwhile, Dustin Lance Black (Milk) is said to be finishing script work on Taking Flight, the true story of "Barefoot Bandit" Colton Harris Moore, which is forseeably Green's next film.

On set, Zooey Deschanel offered her thoughts. "I worked with David and Danny on All the Real Girls, so we're good friends. And I always thought other movies of David's had funny bits. I was waiting for him to direct a comedy for forever. After All the Real Girls, it was sort of foolish of me, but I expected Danny to become a huge star. It took a little longer. Other people think it happened so fast, but I thought he'd be the next Will Ferrell the next day." Someone asked if Deschanel was contributing music to Your Highness. "Actually, James and I sing two duets," she said. "They're 'dirty-dovey.' We didn't write the lyrics. A rapper named Faggot Bruce did… I believe he's a friend of Danny's. It's kind of like Hobbit-rock? We're going to make a lil' music video for it."

Did she and Faggot Bruce hit it off? "I mean, Faggot Bruce's lyrics are so powerful… but no, he won't be contributing songs to She & Him." Perhaps there was a reserved seat for F-Bruce on a Highness sequel? On set, Green and McBride both shot down a then-kicking rumor about Pineapple Express 2. They were forming a new production company, Rough House Pictures, and focusing on original material. But in this case, Green said so much "eyeball soup" was spared from earlier drafts of the script that, you know, maybe. A trip back to Ireland may be in the cards regardless of whether it involves Thadeous's stoned pet iguana. At Sundance this past January, Rough House scooped up rights to Knuckle, a documentary about two Irish families that settle feuds with bareknuckle brawls. The plan is to turn it into their next HBO series.

HUNTER STEPHENSON

Also by Hunter Stephenson: YOUR HIGHNESS SNEAK PEAKS - BULLSHITTIN' IN BELFAST YOUR HIGHNESS SNEAK PEEKS - "KRULL" MEETS "BARRY LYNDON"