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Sex

Bishops in the Vatican Finally Admit They Know Nothing About Sex

Because, you know, they don't have it.

by Michael Cuby
Oct 20 2015, 12:00am

Photo via Wikimedia Commons.

It's pretty weird to think about the fact that, for hundreds of years, Catholic bishops have spoken frankly about what people should and shouldn't do in bed—despite the fact that, categorically, none of them have sex.

But that's starting to change. According to a report in the Salt Lake Tribune, the bishops attending this year's Synods of Bishops on the Family have admitted that they don't know much—or, really, anything—about sex, making it all but impossible to offer guidance on marital intimacy. According to the Vatican's chief spokesman, Revered Federico Lombardi, since the bishops believe it necessary to address "the importance of sexuality in spouses' lives," they've decided to take a new approach.

The synod brought in 14 married couples and other laypeople to guide the 270 bishops and help facilitate discussion on familial issues, including, as Lombardi put it, "the importance of sexuality in spouses' lives." And while this might not cause a sexual revolution in the famously sexless Catholic Church, it's refreshing to see non-clergy members informing the bishops' outlook.

"At the heart of the synod is human sexuality," Reverend Thomas Rosica, the English-language assistant to the Vatican press office, said in a statement. "And oftentimes it's muted and we don't know how to talk about it, because most of us in the room are male celibates."

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