A Republican Guy Says That Rape Is All Part of God's Plan

Look, I don't want to ruin your view of the Republican party – a party famed for their all-inclusive views on sexuality, immigration and free will – but the reality is the people who comprise it are mostly gaffe-prone, insensitive and misinformed. I know – I've burst your bubble and I can only apologise for that. The latest hiccup came yesterday in the strange form of Republican Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, who opened his mouth to tell the world that pregnancies that occur as a result of rape are all part of God’s beautiful plan. His beautiful, torturous plan that makes it impossible not to resent your newborn bundle of joy for their entire life.

The comments came during a debate Mourdock was having with Democratic candidate Joe Donnelly in Indiana last night. Towards the end of the debate, after being questioned on whether abortion should be legal in cases of rape or incest, Mourdock answered: "I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realise life is a gift from God and, even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen."

Mourdock has since attempted to backtrack on his blunder, pointing the finger of offence at those who misinterpreted his clearly innocent words as "twisted" and "sick". But Twitter, obviously, have already set to it like a rabid pack of humans who realise that the idea of God endorsing rape is completely nonsensical, while the Democrats have pounced and all signs point to this being a pretty tricky one for the Republican candidate to wriggle his way out of.

One positive for Mourdock to take away from all this is that he may well have succeeded in snatching the goof crown from fellow Republican Todd Akin, US representative for Missouri's second congressional district. Akin, you'll probably remember, irreversibly sabotaged his own career in August when he claimed that, in cases of what he called "legitimate rape", women rarely get pregnant because "the female body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down". Unfortunately for Akin, he had the entire human female sex mistaken for ducks. Weirdly, he hasn't been smart enough to step down yet, despite almost everyone in politics begging him to.

Yet again, Romney has been forced to speak out against one of his fellow party members and try to nudge them off the political stage. To make matters even more embarrassing for the world's best-known wearer of magical Mormon underwear, Mourdock's word vomit spilled out literally the day after a new advert was aired in which Romney pours praise on the Senate candidate. The ad – which, appropriately, looks and sounds a bit like a campaign for Andrex's new super soft toilet roll – shows Romney asking America to "join [him] in supporting Richard Mourdock for US Senate". It hasn't been pulled yet, but if you see it anywhere in the next 24 hours, it's likely that someone will have massively fucked up.

If anyone's pissed about this, however, it's more than likely to be Romney's campaign spokeswoman: poor old Andrea Saul. Once again, she had to climb up out of her binder, dust herself off and croak the increasingly familiar refrain of “[Governor] Romney disagrees with [insert Republican party member here]’s comments and they do not reflect his views.”

Follow Rebecca on Twitter: @RebeccaCFitz

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