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Music by VICE

“The Story of Oh Donna”

Listen to the long-lost classic “The Story of Oh Donna,” by the completely anonymous white 80s hip-hop artist Rat Tail, whose current whereabouts are unknown. We discovered this track a year ago on a cassette tape that was wrapped in a ball of human...

by Brett Gelman
Jan 6 2014, 12:00pm

All photos by Janicza Bravo featuring Nicole LaLiberté as Oh Donna. Wardrobe provided by Arron Mendoza and Ben Phen at L.A.G. Vintage, 4557 Santa Monica, Los Angeles, California, 90029

Below are the lyrics to the long-lost classic “The Story of Oh Donna,” by the completely anonymous white 80s hip-hop artist Rat Tail, whose current whereabouts are unknown. It was transcribed from a cassette tape discovered a year ago, wrapped in a ball of human hair in a garbage dump in Guadalajara, Mexico.

I had a lot of girlies since the day I was born
Lots of bitches on my dick like I was acting in porn
But the ones that you fall for make you fall
Forever shittin’ on you like a bathroom stall
They turn on the charm and make you hot like a sauna
And the hottest of them all went by the name of Oh Donna

I met Oh Donna in McDonald’s, she was eating some fries
I pulled my Oakleys down so she could check out my eyes
She giggled, then she asked if I was in a disguise
I pulled out a wad of cash and said, “No, I’m just fly”
Next me and Oh Donna were kissing and stuff
She grabbed the cash out my hand and said, “I like my sex rough
Rough and tough in the buff, I just can’t get enough”
Then she kicked me in the nuts and bitch left in a huff
This is the story of Oh Donna, so you best listen up
You fuck with the wrong girl and you get fucked up

Oh Donna just another schemin’ bitch-ass ho
Oh if these hoes were Pinocchios, their noses would grow

The next day I woke up to a knock on my door
It was Oh Donna, she was sorry for the bullshit before 
She said, “Let me make it up, let’s go out for a walk”
My cock was rock, we hit the block, and we started to talk
I said, “Yeah, what you did, yo that shit wasn’t cool
Rat Tail ain’t a punk, and I ain’t no fool
I respect myself for real, I graduated high school”
Then Oh Donna grabbed my dick and then I started to drool
She said, “Yeah, you like that when I grip your shit?”
I said, “I wanna fuck you so bad it’s making me sick
So sick it’s almost blinding where I can’t even see”
She said, “Speaking of sick, that’s what you make me”
With that she pulled a knife and held it up to my gut
She said, “I’ll cut you up from your neck to your butt”
She didn’t really cut me deep but really deep she cut
’Cause once again Oh Donna went ahead and acted the slut 

Oh Donna just another schemin’ bitch-ass ho
Oh if these hoes were Pinocchios, their noses would grow
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh, Oh Donna, Oh
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh, Oh Donna, Oh

Once again the next day Oh Donna came back around
I said, “Hit the road, Oh Donna, your lies are boggin’ me down”
“Rat Tail, I mean it this time, I’ll stop making you frown”
To prove herself, she sunk down, dug her knees in the ground
She hummed on my fly, oh me, oh my
I said, “Damn, I’m one lucky motherfucking guy”
She stood right back up and she released my bone
“Before we fuck, Rat Tail, can I use your phone?”
I said sure, I handed Oh Donna my Motorola
I bet her pussy so sweet, lip-smackin’ like Coca-Cola
But she talked and she talked, and then she talked some more
I said, “Oh Donna, please, this conversation’s a bore”
“Oh really, Rat Tail, is that really so?
Well, if I’m being such a bore then I guess I should go”
Oh Donna then split with my most prized possession
I’m a sucker for the schemers, this is Rat Tail’s confession

Oh Donna just another schemin’ bitch-ass ho
Oh if these hoes were Pinocchios, their noses would grow
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh, Oh Donna, Oh
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh Donna, Oh Donna
Oh, Oh Donna, Oh

All photos by Janicza Bravo

VICE will be publishing the lyrics to one of Rat Tail’s masterpieces for at least the next seven months. Read them all and listen to Rat Tail’s fourth long-lost track, “KevEn 11 Is My Homie.”