English Right Wingers Tried to Confront Russell Brand in Newcastle

This article originally appeared on VICE UK

Domestic fascist news now, and a group of English Defence League (EDL) supporters took time out from painting "FUCK HALAL" on St George's flags to gatecrash a Newcastle book group meeting because they mistakenly thought Russell Brand would be there.

As the Chronicle reports, about 15 EDL fans rushed the meeting at the city center's Bar Loco after discovering the group would be discussing Brand's Revolution. It's not known where the EDL got the idea that Russell Brand goes from book group to book group to thank them verbosely for reading his book, but it turns out he doesn't.

"It was an open book club to discuss Russell Brand's new book," bemused reader Dan Jenkins told the paper. "But the guys from EDL clearly thought he was going to turn up himself so had gathered a group together from all over the North East to come and disturb the meeting.

"I got there a bit late so I was sitting among them at the back and I could hear them talking about it and asking when he was coming, and then 20 minutes in they realized that he wasn't coming so they decided to be disruptive."

The group then got antsy so started chanting stuff like, "No surrender to the Taliban," and "With St George in my heart / keep me English."

"When they were heading out, one of them just shouted defiantly, 'And now we're going for a curry' and they had just been singing these songs about the Taliban," Dan added. "It was bizarre."

EDL regional organizer Alan Spence said they'd decided to crash the party because one of their recent meetings had been targeted by left-wing activists, who were rude to the EDL's favorite barmaid or something.

"The last time we had a North East meet-and-greet some of the left wing went down to the pub and abused the barmaid prior to us getting there," he said. "So we thought it was time we returned the favor." Because you know where you'll find a left-wing activist, don't you? At a book club. If they're not there, then go and racistly flip cheese stalls over down the farmer's market, or wag middle fingers at a library or something. Take a defiant shit outside an electric car showroom. Tie a soccer shirt around your mouth and kick over the avocado stand in Whole Foods. No surrender, lads.

"We got told Russell Brand was going to be there too," Alan added. "He's a joke. I would love to give him a piece of my mind if I saw him." So, open invitation, Russell Brand: If you want a nice chat about the state of modern Britain, Alan's up for it. He's probably banned from going to Bar Loco now, but there's a Nando's just around the corner you could meet up in instead.

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