This Week in Food Porn: Waffles and Watercress
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Food

This Week in Food Porn: Waffles and Watercress

Save your busy little fingers from all that knuckle-breaking work and allow us to present the very best food porn uploaded to Instagram this week.

Oh, hiya pals! Nice to see you here again. Don't mind me—I'm just separating eggs with my toe-claws and roasting my own linseeds on the bonnet of this old Volvo.

Now, I know that you're all busy people—corn to shuck, spreadsheets to export, potatoes to boil, reports to deliver. So, save your busy little fingers from all that knuckle-breaking work and allow us to present the very best in food porn uploaded to Instagram this week.

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WARNING: Contains nuts, egg, dairy, meat, and soy.

Maryland sweetcorn #waffles with bacon roasted banana and chilli maple syrup. Recipe coming soon #brunch #bacon #bananas

A photo posted by Rosie Birkett(@rosiefoodie) on Jan 27, 2016 at 5:55am PST

What is GOD'S NAME is going on here? You cannot simply castrate a gibbon, wrap it in the flayed skin of your ex-boyfriend, lay the evidence on top of a giant piece of buttered trellis fencing, and hope none of us are going to notice. This is a crime. This may even be a war crime. (Of course, I'd still eat it).

Show yourself some love with our warming, nourishing #WatercressSoup With #BrazilNut Cream. It's a fool-proof recipe so worth making a little extra to stock your freezer! Find the recipe on p54 of ‪#TheArtOfEatingWell‬ A photo posted by Hemsley Sisters (@hemsleyhemsley) on Jan 22, 2016 at 3:37am PST

I was born a hungry baby. So hungry, in fact, that my poor mother's low-hanging fruits were sucked dry. The midwife had to suggest "perhaps just give her a little rice?" By the end of the week, I was eating an entire saucepan-ful. By the end of the month, my mother was blending absolutely any food to hand into a green concoction known as "slump" and pouring it into my mouth like a cement mixer wagon.

Big fat chargrilled mushroom on sourdough for #lunch Good olive oil and salt are key. And it just happens to be #vegan #halenmon

A photo posted by Anja (@cocoinmykitchen) on Jan 28, 2016 at 4:07am PST

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Let's not dick about here. Mushroom on toast is a breakfast of champignons and a lunch of heroes. Get that big fat bastard on a slice of sourdough and take the rest of the day off.

Risotto, fennel, black garlic and Shropshire blue cheese. Warming, soothing stuff for a winter's day. Recipe from the Observer 24.01.16. A photo posted by Nigel Slater (@thenigelslater) on Jan 24, 2016 at 4:39am PST

My mother's entire family were born and raised on the sandstone, loam-rich soil of Shropshire. Sheep and dairy farmers, as far back as you can see. There's enough milk flowing through our genes to churn butter. But—and I hate to be the one to break this to you—Shropshire Blue ain't our cheese, pals. That shit was invented in Scotland.

Slabs of this.. . All day erreh-day #dessertporn #cakeallday #Blendlove

A photo posted by Blendlove Pty Ltd (@blendlove) on Jan 22, 2016 at 1:44pm PST

This is what the waitress who brought Salome the head of John the Baptist on a platter did next. That's right. She's moved into desserts.

2016.01.29 #sunnysideup#eggs#foodporn#breakfast#goodmorning#Montreux#Switzerland A photo posted by Max (@maxtagram.mct) on Jan 29, 2016 at 12:53am PST

Here's that sexy topless tit pic for my super lucky boyfriend.

Last night's main course swedish pork fillet #picoftheday #sweden #instafollow #photo #follow #photooftheday #instadaily #stromstad #instamood #beautifulcuisines #foodstarz #yummy #culinary #nomnom #laholmenhotell #instahub #truecooks #chefsofinstagram #foodporn #igfood #igchef #gastronomia #chefstalk

A photo posted by Michael Tyler Vidal (@mtvidal84) on Jan 15, 2016 at 2:25am PST

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Remember that scene in Friends where David the Science Guy tries to sweep everything off his desk so he can do open-leg snogging with Phoebe? But instead, he just sort of shuffles it into a line on the corner of the table? This plate is precisely what would happen if someone tried to tongue-kiss me half-way through dinner.

Addicted to #elote A photo posted by The Lucky Taco (@theluckytaconz) on Jan 29, 2016 at 12:26am PST

All RIGHT, New Zealand. We GET it. It's SUMMER over there. You're having BARBECUES. It's WARM. You can eat things slathered in BUTTER without having to wear GLOVES. We UNDERSTAND. But please, please stop rubbing our noses in it.

Oca - grown in Wales in January - ever used them? What amazing colours! Ideas on a postcard please

A photo posted by Jen Goss (@ourtwoacres) on Jan 29, 2016 at 12:30am PST

Bacteria under a microscope? A nest of sleeping baby mice? Some super organic tampons? Absolutely no idea.

Work selfie (macking of) #frankfurters #work #college #coking #cooking #eat #mmmm #smile #selfies #sosexy #sheff #youwatchme #nana #cool #:-) # A photo posted by Владислав (@vladislav_butik) on Jan 29, 2016 at 1:40am PST

Your boyfriend called. He says he's "washed and ready to go." Go get 'em, champ.