Uber, the San Francisco-based startup that makes gobs of money off a very simple innovation coupled with an exacting and ruthless execution, frequently finds itself the target of criticism. Uber's offenses including flouting local regulations, price gouging customers during emergencies, employing drivers who assault their passengers, or stalking reporters, and its marketing team and executives can often be seen issuing apologies (or non-apology apologies).
This has been a relatively quiet week for Uber scandals—it got shut down in a Japanese city, started circulating its own propaganda magazine, and charged a customer $100 for something it calls a "bodily fluids fee." But the comedians at Funny or Die decided the time was right for a wide-ranging apology satire featuring a heartless exec, token female, and an army of Silicon Valley white boys explaining just how Uber plans to dismantle its own bad reputation.
"I want to personally let you know that this year we will be introducing new innovative programs that will solve none of these issues," an Uber "VP of public relations" in a leather jacket tells the camera. "Because just as our government doesn't negotiate with terrorists, we don't listen to bitches."