Food by VICE

Lindsay Lohan Thinks She Can Save Syrian Refugees by Giving Them Energy Drinks

Maybe they’d like some molly and strobe lighting to go with that?

by Alex Swerdloff
Oct 20 2016, 7:00pm

Like anyone who was unfortunate enough to watch I Know Who Killed Me, you may think Lindsay Lohan's acting career is more than in the dumpster, but that doesn't mean she isn't keeping super busy, guys.

Not only is she an entrepreneur—having recently opened a nightclub eponymously called "Lohan" in Athens—she has also become quite the budding political activist of late. After visiting a Syrian refugee camp in Turkey earlier this month, LiLo evidently become educated on the horrific needs of the marginalized Syrian refugee community there, and has come up with a self-styled solution.

Lindsay is going to graciously send the beleaguered refugees just what they really need. No, we aren't talking about something boring like water, food, or medicine; she's sending them a brightly colored German energy drink called Mintanine, because everyone knows the first thing a disenfranchised refugee with nowhere to go and little to no hope seeks is a jazzed up, caffeine-filled, blue lemonade that markets itself under the logo "#WTF blue tastes woohoo."

That's right. Now the masses of displaced refugees will be able to drink the same stuff quaffed at Lindsay's nightclub and the drink that is the sponsor of "The Playboy Club-Tour 2016/2017."

Wow, those refugees must be, like, super psyched after hearing their luck.

An unnamed source told the New York Post's Page Six, "There's hardly food, water or anything" else at the camp, "so at this point sending anything is helpful."

Great idea! Maybe they'd like some molly and strobe lighting to go with that?

Lohan's venture into world politics isn't limited to the Syrian crisis. She also live-tweeted the Brexit vote, but her admonitions to the people of the UK to "remain" evidently fell on deaf ears. Still, her people say she feel strongly for the plight of displaced Syrians.

READ MORE: What It's Like to Cook in a Syrian Refugee Camp

"This is all part of Lindsay's mission to help refugees," the source said.

Lindsay started the club in Athens with one Dennis Papageorgiou, a man with long, luxurious locks and big dreams to match. Despite claims that they aren't dating, the two were seen sucking face at a club recently. Plans for other "Lohan" clubs in London and Hong Kong are said to be in the air.

READ MORE: Syrian Refugee Camps Now Use Eye Scanners to Pass Out Food

Mintanine provided MUNCHIES with the following comment: "We are happy to confirm the fact that we have recently initialized a partnership with Ms. Lindsay Lohan. We share Lindsay Lohan´s thoughts that refugees must be helped. For sure we are all foreigners everywhere."

Well, Lindsay's past would suggest that she knows how to party, especially in a club—so her new nightclub may very well be a big hit. Whether her foray into world affairs will be as successful, though, remains to be seen.

refugee crisis
Energy Drinks
lindsay lohan
Refugee Camps
syrian crisis
Syrian Refugee