Good grief! Heavens above! Major Lazer! Justin Bieber! MØ (pronounced: Murrrrr)! An emotional heater for the most emotionally draining summer in years! It can only mean one thing..."Cold Water" just dropped.
On paper, "Cold Water" should be the biggest tune of the summer. Major Lazer have, of course, enjoyed stratospheric success with both Biebs and MØ independently, plus this song was written by Benny Blanco and Ed Sheeran. Surely that's the NATO alliance of bangers, right? The sort of track that racks up 39 billion views in a day, and soundtracks every goal compilation for the next 15 years? Well, nearly. "Cold Water" is so close to being what we wanted it to be. Yet while the ingredients are all present, something is lacking. Bieber sounds a bit too young, the drop is a bit too instantly forgettable, and the lyrics are full of the sort of vague platitudes you used to slap all over your Bebo account way-back-when. If we squint and stop thinking about it, we can sort of enjoy it, but it's no "Lean On" buddy, let me tell you that.
That said, what do we know? Huge pop songs are made for teenagers not male music writers in their 20s, squinting to decipher Justin Bieber lyric videos through their reading glasses between spoonfuls of granola. With that in mind, we're going to hand the rest of the review of the track over to the Youtube commenters who are far more enthusiastic:Stay Woke people.