Terry Francona Has a Fruit Popsicle Problem
Terry Francona ate 17 fruit popsicles the other day. This is a frightening development in an already strange season for Francona.
One of the stranger things about this Major League Baseball season is how much we've learned about the various bodily functions Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona experiences on a day-to-day basis. Last week, we learned about Tito's peeing problem and today we've learned that Terry Francona eats fruit popsicles to such excess that he needs to meditate in bed to avoid puking.
"They brought over nine boxes and there's six in each box. There's one box left. So I don't know what I'm going to do tonight."
Should we be worried about Terry Francona? I mean, even though he appears to be lowballing the amount of popsicles he has eaten—because it sounds like he might have actually ingested 48 popsicles—17 is still a lot of popsicles to admit to eating in one sitting. Which means he almost certainly had more. Where's the willpower? Where's the moderation? Where's the shame? These are all serious deficiencies in man who otherwise contributes to society, and maybe we should do something before it's too late. We're really going to be kicking ourselves if Francona ends up like Howard Hughes, living alone in squalor, opening fruit popsicle wrappers with his toenail machetes.
h/t SB Nation