Baseball truly is a marvel. Today the Washington Nationals are playing the Phillies at Citizens Bank Park—brief, semi-relevant detour: yesterday, the Phillies grounds crew blowtorched the field to try to dry it out—and rookie catcher Spencer Kieboom did a pretty cool thing: he hit his first career home run. He also did a pretty baffling thing: he somehow managed to lose a tooth in the process.
I don't even know how one goes about losing a tooth while hitting a home run. Was he clenching his jaw so tightly that he snapped his own tooth? That seems like a dangerous amount of strength for one man to have in his jaw (or problematic Vitamin D intake, I suppose, but I am going to go ahead and assume that a professional athlete has his nutrition in order. Man look at how puzzling this whole thing is, I am rambling in a parenthetical about the hypothetical milk consumption of a Major League Baseball player. Alright, sorry, back to main thing.). Where was I? Right, this guy lost his tooth hitting a home run! Fuckin' weird, man.
Kieboom is no stranger to weird, semi-violent happenings surrounding career milestones, however. During his first career game in May, Kieboom officially joined the MLB record books with his first career hit. Earlier in the same game, while he did not hurt himself like he did today, he did manage to hit Cody Bellinger in the face while attempting to throw the ball back to the pitcher's mound.
Spencer Kieboom: dynamite name, kind of a liability to be around?
Anyway, thank you for joining us in our recurring feature: You Can See Some Pretty Weird Shit at Baseball Games.
Disheartening Update: Spencer Kieboom did not lose his tooth hitting a home run. He lost a temporary tooth eating a baguette at breakfast. I wish it didn't have to be like this, but it is.