12 Photos of Mitch McConnell Looking Sad


by Eve Peyser
Jul 28 2017, 6:12pm

Image by author via Getty

Early Friday morning, Senate Republicans failed to pass a "skinny" version of the Obamacare repeal bill, which would have left 15 million more Americans without health insurance by 2018. This is a devastating blow to Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, who has been working hard to pass any repeal bill at all for weeks. His failure means that a major item of the GOP agenda has stalled, maybe permanently; it's also a blow to his personal reputation as a dark master of the Senate.

Here is how I imagine he's working through his grief and rage:

1. TFW you make a big whoopsie-doodle and fail to take away health insurance from millions of Americans:

Photo by Alex Wong / Getty Images

2. When you try to push said whoopsie-doodle to the back of your mind, but you start thinking about all those sick people trapped in the tyranny of having health insurance:

Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images

3. Realizing that there's no way you can explain this whoopsie-doodle to your boss, the president:

Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images

4. That sinister chill hits your spine as you contemplate all the different ways the president is going to cyberbully you:

Photo via Wikimedia Commons

5. When your buddy Paul tries to comfort you by whispering, "It's all going to be OK, baby" into your meaty ear, but you know the whoopsie-doodle was too big for that to be sincere and he just pities you, and if someone pities you, that means you're weak:

Photo by TK/Getty Images

6. Trying to get back on track by musing about new ways to disenfranchise the poor without doing another whoopsie-doodle like:

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images

7. But you can't stop thinking, I am nothing, I am only my whoopsie-doodle:

Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images

8. The distressing feeling when even thinking about dismantling the federal government can't even bring you a fleeting pang of joy:

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images

9. And you're sick with dread that you'll never be able to enjoy further efforts to deregulate the healthcare market because now the whole thing reminds too much of your whoopsie-doodle:

Photo by SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images

10. Worrying that your whoopsie-doodle will destroy your reputation as the man who gets all the meanest things done in Senate:

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

11. Trying to remember the deep-breathing exercises your therapist taught you, but it's as if the more deeply you breathe, the harder the gravity of your whoopsie-doodle hits you:

Photo by Jim Lo Scalzo - Pool/Getty Images

12. Shrugging off your whoopsie-doodle when you remember that this will be a footnote by the time you're up for reelection in 2020:

Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images

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