Canadian Man Arrested After Allegedly Boiling Human Bones, Drinking the Cursed Broth
There are lots of ways to make bone broth, but none of them should start with robbing a grave.
Photo: Getty Images
There are countless different ways to make bone broth, depending on whether you roast the bones before you start; whether you opt for a long simmer on the stovetop, or a slightly shorter simmer in a slow cooker; and what kinds of bones you’re working with in the first place. But regardless of what recipe you ultimately use, it’s probably best if the first step doesn’t involve desecrating a stranger’s grave.
According to the Chronicle Herald, Lucas Dawe, a 20-year-old Canadian man, is facing charges of possessing a stolen skeleton and interfering with human remains, after he was caught allegedly boiling the bones and drinking the water left behind. Dawe was ultimately arrested after an unnamed witness told authorities that he (or she) had watched as Dawe licked the bones.
The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary (RNC) was called to the T’railway walking trail near the cemetery, where parts of a human skeleton were found in a nearby patch of grass. That discovery—and the reported bone-licking—ultimately led to Dawe and his cursed choice of beverage. Dr. Nash Denic, the chief medical examiner for Newfoundland, told the Canadian Press that it was the first grave robbery that he’d ever heard of in the province. The examiner's office had to contact family members of the deceased to let them know that some of their late relative’s bones had recently been stolen and boiled.
All of the evidence suggests that the remains were stolen from the historic All Saints Parish cemetery, and they belong to an unidentified individual who died in the 1800s (an unidentified individual who should probably start haunting the shit out of Lucas Dawe).
“When someone buries their loved one in a graveyard, there's the assumption this will be their final resting place as we say in the liturgy, so when this happens in such a shocking violation of that sacred act, it was [shocking] for me, personally,” Archdeacon Sam Rose of the Anglican Diocese of Eastern Newfoundland and Labrador said.
Last July, archaeologists and Egyptian officials opened a recently discovered 2,000-year-old sarcophagus, and a British man quickly started a petition asking to drink the not-at-all haunted red sludge that the box contained. “We need to drink the red liquid from the cursed dark sarcophagus in the form of some sort of carbonated energy drink so we can assume its powers and finally die,” Innes McKendrick wrote on Change.org at the time.
The demon juice was a putrid, rust-colored combination of skeletal remains and what officials believed was liquid sewage, but McKendrick told MUNCHIES that it would probably “taste similar to most other skeleton-derived soft drinks.” (He also thought that drinking the coffin water would cause all of humanity to be destroyed at the hands of “furious immortal Egyptian gods,” and, tbh, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wish that we’d all dunked our goddamn heads in it.)
Meanwhile, alleged skeleton-stealer Lucas Dawe’s next court date has been set for May 1. He will also have to face charges that he shoplifted from a Circle K convenience store on three separate occasions but, unless he took a severed human head or a powerful ancient amulet, that’s probably the least of his problems.