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Sports

Beverly Hills Hotel Charges Justin Verlander $1M for Being "Dodgers Killer"

The Houston Astros pitcher was given a real upcharge for his team beating the Los Angeles Dodgers in the World Series.
Photo via Instagram / @justinverlander

Don't you just hate it when a restaurant has hidden fees for tweaks to the menu? Twelve bucks for a half chicken breast on a salad, corkage fees, World Series tax. Wait, World Series tax?

The Beverly Hills Hotel slapped Houston Astros pitcher Justin Verlander with a strong upcharge for beating their hometown Dodgers in seven games to win the 2017 World Series. An upcharge to the tune of $1 million. Jesus, just look at the final line of this check:

While the $1 million "Open Miscellaneous Dodger Killer" item is sure to turn some heads, let's look at some of the finer points to this check, shall we? First of all, it was nice of Sonny L to make sure that he circled the line item, so that Verlander didn't absentmindedly drop his card. Sonny L would be off to Mexico lickety split if he got away with that.

Oh, and just take a look at that tax! $95,017.20?! When it comes to something of this scale, it really adds up, huh?

But aside from the stand-out numbers in the joke, just take a look at how much some of these items cost at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Holy shit. A $10 cranberry juice?! What, is it fresh from the bog? A $30 stack of pancakes? Paul fucking Bunyan better be making those for me at $30. And finally, a $42 salad. I'd say you got away easy with a paltry $1 million Dodger Killer fine, Verlander. Just imagine the price if you swept them.