It’s a story with more twists than O. Henry.
Last week, Daily Beast writer Jeff Maysh recounted the gripping saga of one Jerome Jacobson and how he allegedly rigged the entire McDonald’s Monopoly sweepstakes game in his favor to the tune of $24 million over the course of over a decade. The writer rehashed the tale, which concluded way back in 2001 with a whole slew of convictions for mail fraud and conspiracy, and how the former cop-turned-private-security professional—who was employed in that capacity by McDonald’s for the sole purpose of protecting the integrity of the game, btw—slipped winning game pieces into the hands of mob-affiliated friends and shady business associates across the country, then took kickbacks from their winnings for all his “help.”
Seriously, more twists than the Golden Arches, you guys. It’s a story that reads like the screenplay for a dark-comedy-mob-movie, like if The Whole Nine Yards stumbled into The Big Lebowski
but with more French fries involved.
Unsurprisingly, Hollywood has also caught on, and now, 20th Century Fox has bid on the rights to adapt the 17-year-old story into a feature length film, which Deadline reports will star Matt Damon and be directed by Ben Affleck. Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese, the writers of slapstick anti-superhero franchise Deadpool, are working on the script—can't wait to see how they portray the part where one of Jacobson’s co-conspirators all but tosses stolen winning game pieces off of a parade float during New Orleans’ Mardi Gras festival to random revelers.
With the seemingly endless cast of characters that Jacobson roped into his scheme—friends, family members, his butcher, random strangers he met on cruise ships—there’s going to be plenty of opportunity for some excellent cameos, so we’re hoping for an Ocean’s 11-style super-sized ensemble. The writers over at GQ have already dreamed up their ideal cast, with Lady Gaga playing the fast-talking Sicilian mob wife Robin Colombo and Jameela Jamil as the psychic whom Jacobson consults during his deepest phases of paranoia while pulling off his con. It’s not clear if Damon will play Jacobson or Special Agent Richard Dent, the FBI investigator who operated the “McSting,” as Maysh calls it, that eventually led to this whole house of cards crumbling like so many stale fries out of cardboard containers.
Regardless, it’ll be fun to watch this real-life McBurglar not pass go, not collect $200, and go directly to jail on the big screen, a small taste of revenge for all those heartbreaking loser Monopoly pieces for a free Filet-O-Fish we peeled off of McFlurry cups in our youths.