Vice: So you guys just did it...
The rules here were simple. We waited downstairs while these couples fucked, then we came in and got the play-by-play after they were done.
AHAVA & LD
Vice: So you guys just did it...
LD: First we drank some wine, trying to get ourselves ready, and then I started making out with her. That’s how it got started.
Ahava: It doesn’t take much for me to get horny. Plus, we’ve only had sex like four times before this, so it’s still exciting.
LD: But we’re comfortable enough so we didn’t need to be super-horny already.
Ahava: I also hadn’t had sex in a week.
OK, what next? Were you horny yet?
Ahava: He took my shirt off. I think I took my shorts off.
LD: Yeah, you took your own shorts off, then you took all my clothes off. You wanted to get down to business.
So you were definitely ready. How long did this take?
LD: That was within the first five minutes. The whole sex was about 40 minutes total.
Ahava: I feel like it was longer.
LD: I made sure to look at the clock.
Ahava: I was not that removed from what was happening.
Ahava: Then I went down on him for a short, short bit.
LD: A too short bit. It was only like a minute.
Ahava: It was maybe like three minutes. I’m not a huge fan of blowjobs.
LD: I never went down on her, so I guess it’s fair.
Ahava: I was being polite.
Why so short?
LD: I was into it.
Ahava: Yeah, he was, I think that was the problem. There was a lot of thrusting and I have a tiny mouth! I don’t deep-throat people ever. That’s when I decided no more.
LD: I won’t do that again, I guess.
Ahava: Plus, he’s really big, at least compared to other people. So, I was kind of unprepared. I think I need to work my way up to it.
So the minute-long blowjob was over and then...
LD: Then she got on top of me, and we started fucking.
Were you wet yet?
Ahava: Not really, but it happened quick.
LD: She was doing most of the work. I was just laying there grabbing her tits. She’s really into biting, like bite marks and blood.
Ahava: Incredibly hard biting.
LD: This is the first time I’ve ever really gone for it. She told me about it and I thought it was kind of weird, but this time I finally just went for it. I bit her boob a little bit.
Did you enjoy it?
LD: Once I got into it, I thought it was kind of cool.
Ahava: Plus, I think the reaction he got from me also helped. I get so into it.
LD: She goes a little crazy.
Ahava: And he likes to spank me while I’m on top too. There was some of that happening too.
Were you being loud?
LD: She was.
Ahava: He makes a little noise, not loud, but it’s there. Just some moaning and a little grumbling. I would say it’s nice because it’s consistent throughout, and I know he’s enjoying it.
LD: Sometimes it’s a conscious decision to make noise, it’s an indicator to let the other person know you’re enjoying it.
Ahava: If something feels good I make a noise.
Do you guys ever talk in bed?
LD: No, maybe sometimes I’ll ask if something feels good.
Ahava: Or he’ll ask me to do things. People who are really into dirty talk kind of freak me out, though one guy used to call me by my full name which I thought was really hot.
Were you both enjoying her being on top?
LD: Well, she actually had an orgasm within like seven minutes.
Ahava: I always come when I’m on top, because I know what to do to make myself orgasm. That’s why I can’t start on top, but I always get back into it.
LD: It was literally like five minutes into it.
Ahava: I’d say ten.
What did you think when she came?
LD: I thought, “Man, I’m so good.”
Were you touching her at all or just fucking?
LD: No, she’s completely in charge when she’s on top. I don’t have to do much, I have an erection and lay there.
Ahava: You were touching me!
LD: Yeah, your breasts, I thought we were talking about your clit.
Do you like it that he just lays there?
Ahava: Yeah. It’s kind of irritating when people are so hands-on. I know what I’m doing! I feel like there are times when people are fucking me where I just let them fuck me.
So she came. What next?
LD: We shifted, and we went through a series of positions. I was on top, like traditional missionary style, then we did it on our sides for a while, then back to missionary. That was what it was, really, it was just sex.
Anything else happening during this?
LD: Just straight fucking, nothing special.
Ahava: There was biting.
LD: Yeah, on her arms, shoulders, and back. This is still a relatively new concept, biting to hurt, so I didn’t really know.
Biting sounds special. But anyway, keep going.
LD: Then she was on her belly. It was like doggy style but not arched, she was just lying sorta facedown on the mattress. What I really like about that is that when you push down on the girl, the bedsprings push her back into you, so she’s like involuntarily bouncing on the bed, and that’s a really good visual. It’s sort of like A Night at the Roxbury when they bounce the girl between them. But you need bedsprings, so I recommend sex on a bed.
Did you like that?
Ahava: Yeah, ’cause he was biting my back and he was into it, so I was into it. But, when he was ready to move on I was fine with it.
What came next?
Ahava: Then we were on our sides again, and he started fingering my ass. I was definitely into that.
Was that a test to see if you could get your dick in there?
LD: No, ’cause we’ve had anal sex before. Every time before she was like, “You have to get me ready.” At one point I managed to get like four fingers in, I was really impressed! I don’t even know if she realized.
Ahava: It felt different, and I was a little confused, but it was still enjoyable. I didn’t ask questions.
LD: Now that I know she doesn’t ask questions, I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want.
Did you go straight from there into anal?
Ahava: No, I objected at first. I thought he was just going to go for it, and then I told him there needs to be lube and there needs to be touching first.
LD: I got this amazing lube, for free! After Hours Inc. They just gave it to me on a street corner in Bushwick. Free condoms, free lube, free HIV tests. It’s the best lube I’ve ever used, her ass was like a slip ’n slide.
Are you normally into anal?
Ahava: Yeah, I like it because all these girls say it’s degrading, but it’s really not. The guy has to work for it, it’s not like he can just slip it in. Plus, the guy’s really engaged because of having to work for it.
LD: There’s a lot to be gained for the dude, so you pay more attention than you normally would. If you want to have anal sex, you definitely have to put more effort into it. It’s almost like you have to physically convince the woman to do it.
Ahava: Regardless of lube it’s never not painful, but I’m kind of into physical pain with sex. I was definitely wet from it. Plus, he was touching me a bit. There’s definitely a time when you can’t do it anymore.
LD: Which is what happened when my dick accidentally slipped out.
Ahava: I turned around and was like, “OK, that’s enough.”
LD: Worst mistake of my life.
How did you recover?
LD: I decided the only way I was going to come was to jerk myself off. I could feel it going that way. It always takes me a while to have an orgasm via sex. We went into missionary after the anal, but it was taking a while. I’ve given myself so many handjobs, I know how to get off in a minute.
Ahava: You know your own stuff the best.
LD: Anyway, I figured maybe she was getting tired.
Ahava: No, I was still into it. You would have known if I wasn’t.
LD: I sort of kneeled over her face and asked her to lick my balls.
Ahava: Then I licked his ass.
Were you asked to do that or was it your own initative?
Ahava: A little of both. He asked me to lick his balls, which I was doing. Then he moved his body up further, so I just went for it. It was the first time I did it, but I got into it, because of his reaction.
LD: It was awesome. Half of me was like, “This feels so good,” and the other half of me was like, “I can’t believe she’s doing this!” I’m really into girls who are into trying things. Then I came on her face, which I was super into. To put it in the most Neanderthal terms, it’s like a mark that you were there, and that’s pretty great.
Ahava: I’m a little submissive, so I was into it.
Was this the best sex you’ve ever had with each other?
ANDY & ALANA
Vice: OK. Take it from the top.
Andy: We had some beers and we smoked some cigarettes, and we talked about doing it in a different variety of places.
Alana: And then he said, “Let’s go have sex.”
How did you get started?
Andy: We made out a little bit, then I took her tights off, and I took my shirt off because it was hot in here. And then I asked her to take her dress off but then I ended up taking it off for her. And then we had to go to the bathroom and lay down a blanket, because she has her period and we didn’t want to make a mess.
Alana: It’s natural and beautiful!
If you say so. What else?
Andy: She had matching bra and panties on today, which was exciting.
Alana: That never happens, I’m disorganized.
Andy: So we laid down the blanket, got a little cozy. Then we spooned a bit and kept making out. I started grabbing and kissing and suckling her boobs.
Alana: That felt good.
Andy: Then I started fingering her.
Alana: I was starting to get wet, from the fingering.
Andy: Then she played with my cock.
Played with it how?
Alana: I was touching it, rubbing it a little through his boxers.
Andy: She was using both hands though. That was pretty hot. Her panties came off and I threw them, and then we kept jerking each other off. I was still kissing her tits and her belly. We were taking our time. Eventually, I got on top of her, straight missionary.
Alana: He lifted my legs up in the air, and that felt good.
Andy: Alana’s very flexible, and she’s got these long legs too.
Alana: I teach yoga.
Any oral at all?
Alana: I need to know a guy well before we go there, and we haven’t known each other very long.
So at this point were you just fucking, or was there any touching too?
Alana: I would say we were just fucking, but it didn’t seem like just fucking at the time.
Andy: We made out a little in the beginning, when we were working into it. It started out slow. We were easing into it at first.
Alana: But not for long. I wanted it harder and faster, and it happened, which was awesome.
Andy: I was enjoying it because she was holding on to the bars of the bed, and girls grabbing on to things is always a turn-on. It’s kind of like when girls squeeze the pillow, but better.
Any changes in position?
Andy: I was still on top, and I bent her legs more toward her stomach. And I was really pounding.
Alana: I was pretty close to coming, but only when he bent my legs. It hit a different spot then.
Andy: Then I came inside her, since she had her period, and that was really nice.
Alana: Yeah, it was really nice that he didn’t have to pull out and do that whole thing.
Andy: We should that do more often.
Why are you both so touched by this cream-pie business?
Andy: We didn’t have to go through the whole jerking off at the end.
Alana: He could stay inside me and there was no stress about it.
Did the period change anything else?
Alana: Well, we laid the blanket out, but it didn’t end up being that messy.
Andy: My shit was all bloodied up when were done. But, listen, I’m not going to take away sex days because of her period. None of that “the woman has to go out into the woods for a week.” Fuck that.
CAITLIN & ANDY
Vice: Hey, you’re the same guy as the last interview. Are you a man-whore?
Andy: Um, I’m just a really nice guy?
OK, stud. This was a bit of an afternoon delight, huh? Walk me through it.
Caitlin: We did it this morning when we were waking up, and then again an hour ago. In the morning, I was going to leave, but I realized he had a hard-on, so I was like, “Hrm, maybe not, if that’s saying hello right now.”
Andy: We started with the closed-eyed groping, the kind you don’t really remember.
Caitlin: We were spooning, and I was like, “Oh, that’s a hard penis, that’s what that is.”
Andy: It was sort of like blind people grabbing each other in the morning. Then we went straight into the fucking. I was on top, and we were very close, right on top of each other, holding on. I came very quickly.
Like, five, ten minutes?
Caitlin: Maybe like three minutes.
What does that say about you?
Caitlin: That I’m super hot and my pussy’s hella tight! [laughs all around]
How’d you get into it the second time?
Andy: We were just wearing underwear, and started making out. Then she got on top—
Caitlin: That’s how I do.
Andy: Then I kind of slipped her boobs out of her bra.
Caitlin: I don’t wear bras with clasps anymore, so it’s always a hassle getting them off. So sometimes it’s easier breastfeeding-style.
What was happening with the boobs?
Andy: Kissing, suckling, and squeezing. She was doing a little clit grinding, little bit of dry humping.
Caitlin: We did that for a little while, but I wanted to make sure he still had condoms.
Andy: I dug one out and came back to the bed. Underwear came off, condom went on. Silly condom.
Caitlin: Well, me no likey no babies. I had these fancy Swedish and Japanese condoms.
Andy: There’s definitely a difference. They’re very thin and they don’t seem to be just like, tubular. They’re more cock-shaped, I guess?
Who was on top?
Caitlin: Andy, ’cause he had left and come back, so I was sort of lying there.
Were you wet yet?
Caitlin: Yeah, no awkwardness, he could just get in there. It’s usually not a problem for me, just slip ’n slide, ready to go.
How was the missionary going?
Andy: It was nice. Then we got more into it.
Caitlin: It was pretty fast, and then I was grabbing his ass to get him to slow down because it felt really good.
Andy: She wrapped her legs around me, which was hot. Then we intertwined legs.
Caitlin: It was a good missionary, a good take on an old classic.
Caitlin: I did. It was a great orgasm. I usually come from just penetration. It tends to be the easiest way for me to get off. I found out in college that a lot of my friends are not like that.
Lucky you. Anyway, did you stay in missionary the whole time?
Andy: We stayed in it for a little bit, then we went into doggy style.
Caitlin: I was on my elbows, because it was more comfortable.
Andy: It was great, but then I got tired, and we just stopped.
You just stopped? That’s it? You didn’t come?
Andy: I came earlier this morning. And I’m hungover.
Caitlin: I didn’t come that first time, so we evened it out.
TINA & BUCHANAN
Vice: How was the fucking?
Buchanan: We haven’t seen each other in a month, first of all. And that was the first time we met, and we had sex in the woods a lot then, so a couch was great.
Tina: And I told her, “Imagine what we could do in a fucking bed!” Anyway, first we drank whiskey. Then we took each other’s shirts off.
Buchanan: Then we drank more whiskey.
Tina: And then we put on Bob Dylan. I think he’s sexy.
Buchanan: Then we were making out. It was hot.
Tina: We were playing with each other’s titties.
Were the pants still on?
Buchanan: Yeah, but then I went to the bathroom and came back with them unbuttoned.
Tina: She was wearing boxer briefs. I’m wearing panties.
Buchanan: We kept making out, then we started touching each other’s “special areas.” Her pants were really hard to get off.
Tina: It rained last night, so they’re like suctioned on there! It took a lot of tugging.
Buchanan: She got on top of me. She was wearing pink panties. The kissing was perfect.
Tina: I made her take off her underpants as well. And then she fucked the shit out of me.
Whoa, slow down there. Let’s go back.
Tina: She definitely fucked me first.
Buchanan: She was on top and I started off touching her with my hand. First it was just rubbing, then I slipped a finger inside. She laid down and I started kissing all over her chest and then proceeded to kiss her thighs and then kissed her other parts. I sucked on her clit for a while, with my fingers inside of her. It was two fingers at this point.
Tina: I was moving my ass up and down. There was lots of moaning.
Are you usually loud?
Tina: Not unless I like someone. If it’s just happening to happen, then no moaning. But if it’s someone special, I express it. That’s why we put on the Bob Dylan.
Buchanan: His frequencies can cover anything. I was also saying her pussy was hot.
Tina: There was definitely expression.
OK, what next?
Buchanan: She came, and we slowed it down for a bit. I kept my fingers in her, but I started kissing her mouth and stuff.
Tina: I came the first time within two minutes. The second, third, and fourth time were all consecutive. Then I was like, “This is stupid, you can’t just give to me, reciprocation is important.” So I went down on her.
Buchanan: I don’t usually let girls do that to me. It’s just my preference. I was sitting on the couch and she was on the floor, and I was grabbing onto her hair and she had fingers in me. She has nice hands.
Tina: I don’t go in that far, though. I have long fingers.
Did you come?
Buchanan: Yes, which is a new thing to me. It’s only been happening the past couple of years.
Tina: Yeah, we fucked the shit out of each other. First she fucked the shit out of me, then I fucked the shit out of her. She finally let me touch her shit.
How’d you finish up?
Buchanan: We had a smoke, had a little more whiskey, listened to the Mamas and the Papas. We drew happy faces on each other, around our moles.
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