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Noisey

That's So Ravin': I Am The Great K-holio

Getting into a K-hole, getting out of one, flirting with DJs... Ravin Samoan dishes out more keen advice in this week's column.

by Ravin Samoan
Jul 19 2013, 9:00pm

Every music genre has its seedy underbelly, a world of unspoken tricks of the trade and a code that helps keep things alive (no matter how dirty and scandalous it may appear from the outside). Our That's So Ravin' columnists have been down… and around. Worldwide party purveyors and dancefloor makers offer up some party tips for ya, free of charge.

Dear Ravin,
I like this one DJ a lot. I go to see him every time he is in town and I've even gone to see him in other cities too. I'm gay. I hear he goes both ways, but I don't know what to do. First, he's a DJ and he could be like, 'Whateverrrrrrrrr!' And then, maybe he isn't really into dudes and I make a double f**k up by flirting with him. Then I wouldn't be able to see him DJ anymore out of sheer embarassment. Triple threat.

OMFG, Brooklyn


Dear OMFG:
I think you know precisely what it is that you need to do my dear. Take that fabulousness that is you and find your inner confidence. Sashay your way over to him (preferably NOT while he's DJing of course) and say hello. Don't throw it all at him at once. Ease your way in. Start small, and get to know him. Then, you'll at least be able to gauge whether he's feelin' you or not. And at least this way, you might make a friend and stop having to pay money to get into all those gigs from now on!

Dear Ravin:

Um. What's the best way to get out of a K-hole?

Ben, Dallas

Dear Ben,
Well, aside from not getting into one in the first place? (i.e. Don't take Ketamine.) It's pretty simple: You need to let it pass. Hydration is the key. The less alcohol you consume, the less likely you are to get into one in the first place. That, and replace elephant-style portions with tiny little dabbles spread out over a longer period of time. That'll keep things nice and smooth.

Got a burning question for Ravin? Email her with your thoughts, dilemmas, and all-out rants at ravin.samoan@thu.mp