Maybe you're embarrassed about how often you show up to your local deli, hair askew and eyes that scream, "I'm never going to do that to my body again," after a night out. But hey, don't lie to yourself, because you know you're going to do that again. And again. Instead, peel yourself up off of your couch and make something that will get you ready for the day (and night) ahead.
This is the Parisian answer to what you've been grabbing at your local bodega for years, and because it's French, you know it's loaded with butter and cheese. And it's better off for it. Crusty bread, ham, a creamy béchamel sauce, a hearty helping of Gruyère cheese, and, of course, a fried egg (this is the 'madame' part of the sandwich). Voilà!
This is the godfather of breakfast sandwiches, and it's from Eggslut in LA. It's got everything: fried Spam, marbleized eggs, sriracha mayonnaise, and, most importantly, it's on a King's Hawaiian roll, which, as everyone knows, is the best kind of roll.
Alvin Cailan is not a one trick pony, kids. This frighteningly delicious smoked salmon and egg concoction on a brioche roll is the kind of thing you get the fuck out of bed for.
So Canada wants in on the breakfast sandwich game, too, eh? Well, they've earned it. This is the hangover food of choice for our neighbors to the north, and for good reason. You need plenty of fat to combat the damage done after a night of drinking, so this bad boy combines thick slices of cheddar cheese, a fried egg, and, of course, a healthy serving of bacon coated in just a bit of crunchy cornmeal for the perfect combination of tastes and textures.
We don’t throw words like “ultimate” on a recipe willy-nilly around here. (Ok, we do sometimes, not sorry.) Anyway, after eating this sandwich, your hangover will be cured, your student loans will be gone, your crops will flourish, etc.
Mortadella is a highly underrated salty deli meat, and you should get to know it better with this sandwich. Plus, have you ever tried cooking with Babybel cheese wheels? If you’re the kind of person who accidentally eats a whole sack in one sitting, just imagine how much you’re gonna love this sandwich.
You need to really go for it when it comes to a breakfast sandwich. If this is the thing that’s going to get you out of bed, it needs to be the kind of big, messy monstrosity that doesn’t just feed you, it gets you. For Ben Daiken, the executive chef at Toronto’s Parts and Labour, it also needs to incorporate all elements of breakfast, from the coffee, to the eggs, to the bacon.
What better hands to put your hangover fate into than the inimitable Cara Nicoletti, host of the Hangover Show? This sandwich is like if your Jewish bubbe took care of you after a night out. If you’re not ashamed to let your grandmother see you looking like a train wreck, that is.
You know what most sandwiches are missing? Something pickled. This spicy, mustardy piccalilli is exactly the condiment your breakfast sandwiches have been looking for.
How about a Moroccan-inspired open faced sandwich? Plenty spicy and piled high on good crusty sourdough. Unf.
On Fuck That’s Delicious, Al Brown of Auckland, New Zealand’s Best Ugly Bagels introduced host Action Bronson to New Zealand's beloved curried eggs, heaping them onto a bagel which Action then tops with cilantro, kimchi, curry leaves, steak sauce, and jalapeño relish. It is indeed a little ugly, but it’s also pretty much the best.