The Hangover News

Minor News
BOSTON POLICE CAUGHT THE SECOND MARATHON BOMBING SUSPECT
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was hiding in a boat in someone's back garden

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After a huge manhunt and the entire city of Boston being closed down for a couple of days, Boston police tracked down Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the second suspect in the Boston Marathon bombings that killed three people and injured over 170 more.

Tsarnaev's older brother Tamerlan was killed in a shoot-out with police the previous night (one police officer was also shot dead and another seriously wounded), before the younger of the pair managed to escape and hide in a boat that was tied up in a suburban back garden.

The fact he was in a boat on land has led to many fantastic memes about him trying to escape in a boat on land, which get increasingly funnier every time you see a new one.

Since being captured, we've learned that Tsarneav was in a serious but stable condition (after losing lots of blood from multiple gunshot wounds), won't be read his Miranda rights before being questioned, might not even be able to be questioned and that the FBI questioned his older brother Tamerlan a couple of years ago at the behest of a "foreign government" over suspicions that he was a "follower of radical Islam".

To keep up with this story, look at the front page of literally any newspaper in the world.

Big Surprises
THE LONDON MET POLICE ARE APPARENTLY STILL INSTITUTIONALLY RACIST
Twenty years since the murder of Stephen Lawrence, nothing has changed

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On the 20th anniversary of Stephen Lawrence's death, a group representing minority officers in the London police force claimed that Scotland Yard is still institutionally racist.

The Met's Black Police Association (MBPA) say that the disproportionate use of stop and search powers against the black community and the underrepresentation of ethnic minority officers in senior positions proves their point.

And it sounds like they're right; the fact that black youths are six times more likely to be stopped in the street than white youths sounds a lot like racial profiling.

Ex-commissioner, Sir Paul Stephenson, declared in 2009 that the force was no longer institutionally racist. When asked about the issue last week, current commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe said, "If [the public] think we are, then we are."

Which isn't that encouraging.

The Enduring Legacy of George W Bush
MORE THAN HALF OF GUANTANAMO BAY'S INMATES ARE ON HUNGER STRIKE
Including Skaher Aamer, a British detainee who's still being held despite being cleared for release in 2007

Shaker Aamer before being sent to Guantanamo. (Image via.)

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More than half of the remaining detainees at Guantanamo Bay are on hunger strike, US officials confirmed this weekend.

You can probably guess why they're choosing not to eat, but just in case you switch your brain off when it comes to prolonged abuse of human rights, it's because they're being held there indefinitely and are treated like shit the entire time.

Guards tried to break the strike last week by placing inmates in solitary confinement, but that resulted in violent clashes, ending in guards firing "non-lethal" rounds at the prisoners.

British detainee Shaker Aamer – who was cleared for release in 2007, but is still on lock down – is on hunger strike and said, "The military responds with violence, as if that will break us; it draws us together."

A number of inmates and their lawyers have suggested that some of those on hunger strike are close to death because of the self-enforced starvation.

Good Sportsmanship
A LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL PLAYER BIT A CHELSEA FOOTBALL PLAYER DURING A GAME
And it's not the first time Luis Suarez has taken a bite out of one of his opponents

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Liverpool striker Luis Suarez first developed a taste for human flesh in a game in 2010 and was obviously a little peckish again this weekend, so bit into Chelsea player Branislav Ivanovic's arm.

Biting is not allowed in football, and as the referee failed to notice Suarez's attack during the game, the FA can now retrospectively punish him.

After biting Ivanovic, Suarez went on to score a dramatic equaliser in the 97th minute, prompting Professional Footballers' Association chief executive Gordon Taylor to say, "He can be such a good player… [but this is] uncalled for, it's not good, it's depressing."

Suarez later apologised on his Twitter page, saying, "I'm sad for what happened this afternoon, I apologize Ivanovic and all football world for my inexcusable behaviour. I'm so sorry about it!!"

Let's hope those two exclamation marks convince the FA to cut him some slack.

Stoner Shootouts
TWO PEOPLE GOT SHOT AT DENVER'S PUBLIC 4/20 CELEBRATION
Which must have really harshed everyone's vibe

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You know what stoners hate when they're trying to get high in public on their special day? Some guy barging in and firing his gun at people and dogs.

That's exactly what happened at Denver's 4/20 celebration in the city's Civic Centre Park, non-lethally wounding two people, grazing another with a bullet and injuring a dog.

A witness said, "The [wounded] dog was really calm and peaceful, especially for being shot."

There are currently no suspects, not helped by the fact that – as Denver police spokesman Sonny Jackson put it – "When gunfire happens, people run away."