Bez Forgot to Register His Anti-Fracking Party and Now No One Can Vote for Him

This post originally appeared on VICE UK

Bez of the Happy Mondays, forgot to register his new political party with the Electoral Commission, meaning now nobody can vote for them. (Note for Americans: To quote Peep Show, Bez is sort of like the Flava Flav of Britpop.) Every time Bez does something that makes you go, "Well, this is peak Bez"—like that time he let Tim Westwood write "PIMP" on his taxi for an episode of Pimp My Ride, or that time he lost his teeth at Glastonbury while biting into a doughnut—he goes and tops it. It's a testament to Bez's longevity, really.

Last year, the Happy Mondays dancer announced his intention to run as an independent candidate for the Salford and Eccles constituency after the incumbent MP Hazel Blears made clear her intention to stand down. He formed the Reality Party, and Bez—along with two other candidates—were set to run as MPs for the group under the banner of "True Democracy," with Bez promising to "stir things up."

At the time, Bez said: "I've been saying we need a revolution. There's no good shouting about it when you're not actually doing anything."

If a few more teenage girls fancied him and he said "blessedly" a bit more often, then maybe he could be Russell Brand instead of Russell Brand. Bez looking distantly confused on Question Time while wearing an open shirt. Harrowing bit in that Katy Perry documentary where she hears the news that her marriage to Bez is legally dissolved. That sort of thing.

But as the Manchester Evening News reported today, none of that is going to happen any time soon, because Bez completely forgot to register with the Electoral Commission before the January 12 deadline. As a result, the Reality Party doesn't really exist—which is a shame, because they've printed up banners and billboards and T-shirts and everything. And, like, they are called "The Reality Party." The party's slogan is literally "It's Real." It couldn't happen to a worse-named party.

As the Electoral Commission confirmed, they wrote to Bez twice to inform him the hold up with his party registration—the name is too similar to that of "The Realists' Party," so can't feature on the same ballot lest it lead to voter confusion—but I'm just going to go ahead and assume those letters got torn up into roaches.

"Following a review conducted last year," a spokesperson said, "we contacted The Reality Party on two occasions to tell them the party name they had registered, if seen on a ballot paper at a General Election, could mislead voters."

The spokesperson added that "we recommended what they could do to address this, and whilst the party indicated that it was looking at ways to alter its name with the Commission, it did not submit a revised name before our 12 January deadline and so was removed from the register of political parties."

The Reality Party was originally conceived just to be an anti-fracking platform, but they have since expanded their manifesto to include fewer tax breaks for big business and a zero carbon economy. Bez also wants to "end illness and get everybody back to an alkaline state," although it's not quite clear how.

Sometimes I like to idly imagine an alternate reality where Bez—who is still the same Bez, still with that haunted, thousand-yard stare, the air of a man who doesn't quite know what direction you're approaching him from if you say his name while walking up behind him at the bar—is our Prime Minister. In a way, it's a lot of fun. The national anthem is "Step On." There are a lot of maracas about. Everyone is sent a tab of acid in the post when they turn 18. In another way, it's chaos: Shaun Ryder is Chancellor of the Exchequer and Rowetta is in charge of schools. A lot of historical buildings are inexplicably on fire.

Bez for PM can still be a distant reality, though: The Electoral Commission has confirmed there is still time to submit a revised party name (suggestion: the Liberal Bezocrats) before candidates return their nominations papers to the Acting Returns Officers. Come on, Bez. Get your admin done.

UPDATE: In a Facebook statement, The Reality Party have confirmed that Bez didn't "forget" to register the Reality Party and say that they attempted to get in touch with the Realists' Party after the Electoral Commission flagged the possible name clash, but to no avail. "We feel that we acted in good faith when we chose the name of the party and have satisfied all the requirements set out by the Commission," the statement said. The party were unaware they had been deregistered and are working with the Electoral Commission to fix it.

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