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The Republican Party of Texas Hates Everything

The Republican Party of Texas released their 2012 platform and basically took a shit on everyone who isn't a white Judeo-Christian who believes in killing every Mexican, brown person, or gay with their own constitutionally protected gun.

by Anthony Pappalardo
Jul 14 2012, 1:00pm

The Republican Party of Texas released their 2012 platform and basically took a shit on everyone who isn't a white Judeo-Christian who believes in killing every Mexican, brown person, or gay with their own constitutionally protected gun. I can say this with confidence after reading the entire PDF several times, as it basically opposes every law and idea currently embraced in America, and ultimately anyone doing anything they don't agree with should be kicked out of the US, put in jail, or killed. You might be thinking, "Yeah no shit, that's called being a Republican from Texas," but this is actually more fucked than anyone can imagine. Conservatives are going "huh," the party is trying to pull back on some of the statements, and Forbes shredded its economic policies. I don't know enough about economics to really comment about their policies but if a guy from Forbes says they are fucked I'll agree. 

You can predict their stance on abortion, HIV/AIDS prevention, terrorism, "don't ask don't tell,"and killing stuff. They do support speed limits and oppose murder though, so it's not all aimed at benefiting white Christians. 

Here's some of the best/most fucked parts:

We recognize that the nuclear family is the strength of our nation.

The sanctity of human life, created in the image of God, which should be protected from fertilization to natural death. 

Self-sufficient families, founded on the traditional marriage of a natural man and a natural woman. 

Yes, they don't like gays at all.

Inasmuch as the Civil Rights Movement argued against using race as a factor in American life, affirmative action reintroduces race as a powerful force in American life. The Republican Party of Texas believes in equal opportunity for all American citizens without regard to race or gender. To that end, we oppose affirmative action because: 

1. We believe it is simply racism disguised as a social value. 

2. We believe that policies that lower standards on the basis of race or gender create a disincentive to excellence and thereby encourage mediocrity. 

3. We believe that rights belong to people – not groups; therefore, we reject the notion of group-rights and policies that grant preferences based on race or gender. Policies of this type apply a blanket remedy before specific acts of discrimination are proven; thus, such policies compound one injustice with another. 

4. Affirmative action falsely casts those who advocate merit as racist. 

5. Affirmative action casts doubt on minority achievement making such achievement as seemingly unearned. We believe that true minority advancement will come from a demand for personal responsibility, accountability and competitive excellence. 

"Hey you minorities may be really smart but you only got that job because you're some type of Asian and we have affirmative action so let's repeal those laws so you can really feel accomplished."

We urge change of the Internal Revenue Code to allow a religious organization to address issues without fear of losing its tax-exempt status. We call for repeal of requirements that religious organizations send government any personal information about their contributors.

AKA: If we want to say that God hates fags or baby killers we still don't have to pay taxes.

We support adoption of American English as the official language of Texas and of the United States.  

Translation: We hate having to choose a language at the ATM because we speak AMERICAN!

We call for restoration of plaques honoring the Confederate Widow’s Pension Fund contribution that were removed from the Texas Supreme Court building.

They’re apparently still holding a grudge about that slavery thing.

We believe that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society, contributes to the breakdown of the family unit, and leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases. Homosexual behavior is contrary to the fundamental, unchanging truths that have been ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders, and shared by the majority of Texans. Homosexuality must not be presented as an acceptable “alternative” lifestyle in our public education and policy, nor should “family” be redefined to include homosexual “couples.” We are opposed to any granting of special legal entitlements, refuse to recognize, or grant special privileges.

They weren't concise about their stance on homosexuality before but this clears it up.

We ask the Legislature to provide Texans opportunity to purchase "Choose Life" license plates. 

Really blowing it here--they could make a shitload of money making those plastic things that go around your plate that say this; instead, they want to pass a law to get them.

We support raising the age of consent for consensual sex to 18 years. 

Obviously hate 16 and Pregnant.

The Republican Party of Texas adamantly opposes any form of human trafficking.

Really going out on a limb with this one… at least it shows they aren't complete assholes.

We continue to oppose gambling as a means of financing state government. Government–sponsored gambling has had a devastating impact on many Texas families. Moreover, we oppose any further legalization, government facilitation, or financial guarantees relating to any type of gambling including casino, riverboat, video lottery terminals (VLTs), slot machine, video keno, eight-liners, multi-state lotteries, and other games of chance including on Indian reservations. We support the repeal of the state lottery, and enforcement of existing laws and regulations related to gambling. We oppose dedicating any government revenue from gambling to create or expand any governmental program. 

Wasn't enough to kill Native Americans and take their land, just in case you forgot they hate them too.

We recommend that local school boards and classroom teachers be given more authority to deal with disciplinary problems. We urge the Legislature, Governor, Commissioner of Education and State Board of 

Education to remind administrators and school boards that corporal punishment is effective and legal in Texas.

We urge teachers to beat kids. Perhaps arm them too?

Realizing that conflict and debate is a proven learning tool in classrooms, we support objective teaching and equal treatment of all sides of scientific theories, including evolution, Intelligent Design, global warming, political philosophies, and others. We believe theories of life origins and environmental theories should be taught as challengeable scientific theory subject to change as new data is produced, not scientific law. Teachers and students should be able to discuss the strengths and weaknesses of these theories openly and without fear of retribution or discrimination of any kind.

Apparently science is controversial hearsay now that can't be backed up and you can't teach anything that could be refuted later. I guess the Insane Clown Posse went to school in Texas, since they don't understand magnets.

The primary purpose of public schools is to teach critical thinking skills, reading, writing, arithmetic, phonics, history, science, and character as well as knowledge-based education, not job training. We support knowledge-based curriculum standards and tests. We support successful career and technology programs, but oppose mandatory career training. We oppose Outcome-Based Education (OBE) and similar programs.  

Further, because of an aging U.S. population and global competition, and because much of today’s education teaches children to be employees or perhaps at best managers for employers, we encourage the teaching of entrepreneurial skills and investment skills. 

We want to teach kids be more assholey and start big fucked-up corporations that contribute to recessions. We don't want kids to learn how to think though.

We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

Again, we hate thinking.

We recognize the family as a sovereign authority over which the state has no right to intervene, unless a parent or legal guardian has committed criminal abuse. Child abusers should be severely prosecuted. However, we 

oppose actions of social agencies to classify traditional methods of discipline as child abuse. We support enactment of a homicide-by-abuse statute that provides punishment for abusing a child to death without intent of killing. We support requiring compliance by publicly funded private agencies with laws requiring reporting of instances of any kind of abuse as a condition of receiving such funding. 

Looking forward to the video showing what acceptable Child Abuse is.

We encourage state and federal governments to severely prosecute illegal dealers and manufacturers of addictive substances and pornography. We urge Congress to discourage export of such substances into our country. Faith based rehabilitation programs should be emphasized. We oppose legalization of illegal drugs. We support an effective abstinence-based educational program for children. We oppose any “needle exchange” program. We urge vigorous enforcement of our DUI laws.

We want to put anyone remotely cool in jail and want junkies to die faster. Later on they say how AIDS is preventable too but apparently only for white people who don't have it yet, as they want IV druggies to use shitty needles.

We support full funding for the Constellation program that will take the U.S. out of low earth orbit and back to the moon. We also support funding for the Aerospace Commission and private sector research and development of space technology.

We suck at going into space, can't we stop with this bullshit?

@anthonypops