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Seinfeld2000's Guide to Jerry Seinfeld, Political Correctness, and the Internet News Cycle

The "knee jerk store" called and they're running out of hot takes. Well, I have one coming right up and it's the hottest of them all.

by @Seinfeld2000
Jun 15 2015, 5:34pm

Meet our friend @Seinfeld2000. He uses Twitter as a platform to imagine a surreal hellscape in which Seinfeld is still on in the modern era. Since Jerry Seinfeld spent all of last week embroiled in the news cycle as a culture warrior fighting against political correctness, we asked S2K to offer his opinions on this whole mess.

HEY! Before wading in to the waters on the FIRE STORM of contraversy Jery Seinfeld ignited last week, i want to adress one thing just right of the bat. i know this subject is "SO last week news cycle" but some times in life u need a bit of time to let thing's process k. Theres defenetely a lot to un-pack here and i didnt want to just throw down a knee jerk reactien in the heat of the moment. The "knee jerk store" called and theyre running out of hot takes. Well i have one coming right up and its the hotest of them all

So now that were all ready lets take a sober and well reason look at just what got everyone so HOT AND HEAVY to begin with!

THURSDAY, JUNE 4

Jery apears on an ESPN radio show called The Herd with Colin Cowherd which realy sound like a show about bovine stuff but wikipeed say its a sports talk radio show based in Bristol, Conecticut. So Jery was ostensebly on the show to pop off about the Mets or whatever but then the conversaish turn towards the fact that Jerys BFF IRL Chris Rock and other comic like " Larry the Cable Repair Man" dont like to perform on colege campuses. Check it out i download the pertenent part and then uploaded to my soundclaude:

If ur too disengage from life to actualy listen to this audio snipett, what realy "mark ruffaloed" peoples feathers is THIS QUOTE: "I don't play colleges but I hear a lot of people tell me, 'Don't go near colleges, they're so PC.' I'll give you an example: My daughter's 14. My wife says to her, 'Well, you know, in the next couple of years, I think maybe you're going to want to hang around the city more on the weekends so you can see boys.' You know, my daughter says, 'That's sexist.' They just want to use these words. 'That's racist. That's sexist. That's prejudice.' They don't even know what they're talking about."

well if u have ever been to colege, u know that if theres one thing that qualifies as "fighting words" its that someone doesnt know something. After a few days of incubatien...

MONDAY, JUNE 8

The internet definitely explode. Step aside, kim kardasheins posterier, a 60+ comedy legend with a web series where he grabs some java with other funnymen in lavish, exquisite and sometimes whimsicle vehicles can still break the internet too!!!!

Prety much all week the media went "hard in the paint" (modarn referance to milenial rapper Waka Flocka) on Jery!

Talking Points Memo threw down some razor sharp talking points!! "this is all our collective faults for ever pretending Seinfeld was funny and giving him money to observe at us at length."

Where i come from we have a term for that kind of straght up disrespect—it "no chill"

And The Guardien was like "what Seinfeld and some other comedians see as a threat, I see as doors being thrown open to more and more voices."

Have u ever watched an epsode or caught a skitch from SNL from like the first season and felt just like "ok, bill muray is the man, jim belushi rest in peace, i know this is like clasic foundatien comedy but im just not LMAO @ this in my heart?" Maybe it becase whats funny changes in society. as customs and culture changes we have always found new ways 2 lol. what was hot in 1980 just in terms of comedy becomes jay leno making kanye west cry on that awkward talk show he had at 10pm for like 5 months during the whole NBC conan obrian debacale

So is Jery trying to protect "the old guard" of comedy and if so, is the "old guard " politicaly incorect humors, comedy that shine a light on the darkness, the very wrongness that make us human? That some times is ugly uncomfortable, that some times is personal, but it gets all of us eventualy at some point and we do have to laugh at our selves no matter our circumstances, becase we are all at the end of the day, conscious forms of fleshy organic matter that dont understand who we are or what any of this is?

Or is it that its hard for younger generatiens to go along with opiniens of a comedy icon who can just call up Gary shandling any time he want and just go "hey u wana go for coffee" and then suprise Gary Shanters at his house in a 2011 Butagti Veyron, "the only car smoother than Gary"

When Jery say this to Gary Shandling he honestly cry becase its such a fine complement. Then Gary compose him self and with perfect comic timing honed for years in smoke filled Los Angeles clubs, he say "is this for me? Do i get to keep the bugatti?"

TUESDAY, JUNE 9

KABLAM. Jery doubles down on Seth Meyers. What u thought jery was gonna sit back in his The Jaguar XK120 convertible while shooting an epsode of Comediens in Cars Geting Coffee in London with John Cleese (in it one of the things they talk about is how tea is more popular in england) and chill while u bloging ass motherfuckers try to tarnish his shine on some outrage shit? Ha ha then u dont know the real Jery Seinfeld. U think he became the hotest comedian in the game even at his advanced age by being soft n sweet? Dont forget, Jerys a New yorker down to his fucking incisors. and u dont fuck with new york

So while talking with Seth not only did Jer Bear stand by his statements about prissy colege students, he doubled the fuck down with the editor of the New Yorker, David Remnick (no relatien to Leah Remenick from "King of quens" staring Frank Costanza).

Jery said he does this joke about how ppl scroll thru their phones like a "gay french king" and then he does this kind of "florishing" fancy swiping gesture with his finger and he said that he picked up a vibe at one show where when he says "gay" everybody kind of put out a vibe like "no no no Jery, that not okay"

I mean, k. i think some of the disonance with this whole Jery vs PC saga is that we are used to Jery being an uncontroversial and family friendly comedien who has managed to strike a balance of observatienal accuracy that reaches that pure truth at the heart of all great comedy while bypasing any real vulgarity. so to hear jary railing aganst political corectness feels less natural than it would out of the mouth of someone like howard starn or louis CK

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 10

Remember the epsode of seinfeld where Elane is arguing with that writer and shes smoking in the elevator and she yell "THERE ARE NO SUCH THING AS BIG COINCIDENCES AND SMALL COINCIDENCE, THERE ARE JUST COINCIDENCES." That was such a funny moment to think about but it also apply to what i am about to talk about. I guess i agree with elane that there are *degrees* of coicidence becase on Wedensday at 11:30 Jery dropped the second epsode of his 6th "seasen" of Comedians in Cars geting coffee staring orginal king of comedy and family feud halarious-facial-expresion master Steve harvey. The big coicindence is that it just so hapened Jery and STeve would be talking about the same issue that dominated the cyber-sphere all week long: political corectness.

Jery deployed the troll bait on twiter and it was hook line and sinker

THURSDAY, JUNE 11

There comes a point when any story—no mater how controversiel or explosive—in every news cycle must die. One indicator that its breathing its last gasps is when that story reaches The View. Its the equivalent of ur nonna telling u about a cool new band u have been listening to since 2010 and its like "Nonna how do u know about Crystal Castles" and ur Nona say "i just heard their song in a Harvest Valley granola bar comercial and shazamed it. Btw thank u for teaching me about SHazam honny, and also about the acronym BTW"

Anyway's, on Thursday the view took Jary straight to church in a pink 1975 El Dorado Converteble. And no, they didnt stop off for cofee. Whopi droped some of the clasic wisdom that made her a magnetic force in movies like the 1996 basketball caper Eddie and the 1996 supernatural family romper Bogus co-staring Gerard Depardieu. Not to mentien Sister Act and SIstar Act 2: Back in the Habit. Whopy, who used to be a comediane herself, well she just said, "Comics are always offensive, that's our job. We offend everybody."

On Noisey: Read how the Seinfeld theme song came into being.

Also Whoopy was in the movie Ghost.

FRIDAY, JUNE 12

One persen who know about Poltical Incorectness, it Bill Marr (who apears on an upcoming epsode of Comedians Cars N Cofee), and if theres one persen who knows about "roasting" its Roastmaster Jeff Ross whos always got a piping hot five alarm zinger up his sleve. Together on Bills HBO show, they played clean up, geting the last word (until me) and fighting back aganst the PC police.

On comedy, Bill Mar said "Comedy is medicine. It's the best medicine, laughter. You don't want it generic. You want it potent."

Bill say hes going to go even harder on the PC Gestapo on his show next week so set ur VCRs!!!

FINAL THOUGHT

The world is changing fast. now more than ever we have more means of comunication for expresing our unique individuel thoughts than ever. THis circumstance is the perfect enviranment for clashing opinions and friction. The trick is to just say "SERENTIY NOW" and live ur life as best u can and focus on other things like what seinfeld would be like if it still on TV today

Like the other day i was simply wondering, would there be an epsode he acidentaly schedule a date with two diferent women he was flirting with on Tinder at the same restarant and then go back and forth between their tables all nite and then when hes at the one womans table hes texting the other woman at her table, like hes texting her cute emojis and "brb" and vice versa with the other woman?

LMAO

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