LeBron James Is Returning to Cleveland
LeBron James made Decision 2.0, and let's just say that Dwyane Wade didn't take it so well. Also, Tyra Banks predicts the future of robots, and George R. R. Martin wants you to go fuck yourself.
"God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Yet his shadow still looms. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers?" – Friedrich Nietzsche
Here are some funny GIFs. Enjoy!
GIFs by Daniel Stuckey. Thumbnail photo via Flickr user Keith Allison.
LeBron James is going back to Cleveland! Can you believe it? After clearly tiring of the amazing weather, beautiful women, gorgeous scenery, and seafood buffets, King James is heading back to a city where on certain days in February, it is literally too cold to poop! Like, your butthole won't move an inch! You have to call Roto-Rooter and they shove one of those tubes up your bum to pump the shit out. Have fun!
Cheer up, Dwyane Wade! No matter who your teammates are, your checks will still clear! $$$$$$$!
In its first week of release, Robin Thicke's mea culpa for sexual indiscretion, Paula, sold a paltry 530 copies in Great Britain.
After a full calendar year of forcing himself upon us despite our repeated protests, I guess Robin Thicke has finally realized that no does in fact mean no. Talk about gettin' blasted, am I right?
The stark, unforgiving truth of Britney Spears’s un-auto-tuned single was too much for some to bear; people took to the streets in droves, upturning cars, shooting firearms into the godless expanse above, and sobbing uncontrollably. J/K LOL, people just said she sounded like shit.
Andrew Lloyd Webber is updating his classic musical Cats and is adding a rapping cat. While a cat rapping is certainly absurd (and been done before by legendary hip-hop artist MC Skat Kat), it's at least less racially offensive than Iggy Azalea.
The “empowering” Carleigh’s ass photo really changed the way we look at women’s asses. At this rate, if she exposes her bare breasts, all men will magically start respecting their wives and women will start receiving equal pay for equal work.
If only she had flashed her buttocks at the Supreme Court, maybe that Hobby Lobby thang would have twerked out differently.
Tyra Banks was asked by the Wall Street Journal to predict the future of beauty, and she said that soon we’ll all have our own robots sponsored by advertising. We think it would be fuckin' sick to have our own robot brought to you by Chili's. What if that robot… could make/serve/feed us Skillet Queso and Southwestern Egg Rolls any time we wanted? Um…"Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto" much?
Nerds are complaining that George R. R. Martin is too obese and old to finish his Song of Ice and Fire series before shuffling off this mortal coil. He couldn't give a flying fuck (or a few) and told off his fans with one of his legendary Vienna Sausage fingers. Even if he dies, Martin is wealthy enough that he could upload his consciousness into one of those fancy robots Tyra Banks won't shut the fuck up about.
A video showing movie star/cool dad Tom Hanks desecrating a yarmulka with a truly atrocious dance routine set to the cacophonous strains of "This is How We Do It" by Montell Jordan is poppin' off "oppa viral style." If there's one thing that this video proves, it's that stars really are just like us: Jewish!
VICE News went to Winnipeg, Canada's murder capital, to spend time with Aboriginal gang members and find out why they're linked to the majority of the city's murders. This is serious news! LeBron James is not that important.
- Game of Thrones
- Cleveland Cavaliers
- lebron james
- Britney Spears
- Robin Thicke
- Tom Hanks
- paula patton
- Montell Jordan
- This is how we do it
- dwayne wade
- tyra banks
- George RR Martin
- A Song of Ice and Fire
- Carleigh's Ass
- The Wall Street Journal
- Andrew Lloyd Weber
- rapping cats
- MC Skat Cat