A Pretzel Vendor Operating in an Ice Cream Man's Turf Got Beat with a Bat, Cops Say

Read: The Guy Who Created the Mister Softee Jingle Has Died

Ah, New York City. Land of new beginnings, sometimes alarming numbers of slashings, generously large rats, and an MTA system people desperately rely on but love to talk shit about. You can do almost anything here, like piss and drink in the streets without (necessarily) getting a criminal summons, or punch someone for looking a little too much like Shia LaBeouf.

What you cannot do, according to New York City cops, is beat the living shit out of your competition in broad daylight if you think they're trying to run you out of business.

The New York Times reports that on May 12, local ice cream man John Cicero pulled up to his favorite spot to hand out soft serve to the boys and girls of Midtown Manhattan. But this time, something was different—someone had gotten to Cicero's preferred perch first.

A pretzel vendor was selling fat, doughy goods out of a cart on the corner. Cicero apparently approached the man for what we can only assume was a tense conversation. A scuffle broke out, and the men swung at each other until Cicero remembered he had something else to swing.

Cicero ran to his ice cream truck and returned with the bat, according to a cops, at which point he proceeded to wail on his unnamed opponent, raining down blow after blow until a witness intervened, disarming him.

Undeterred, the ice cream guy allegedly pulled a knife on the poor pretzel seller.

Police told the Times Cicero then dipped in his purple and white ice cream truck before turning himself in Tuesday morning, by which time wanted posters and surveillance videos had begun making the rounds. He is charged with felony assault.

Queens-based New York Ice Cream—which Cicero works for—has made news lately over what ice cream men describe as a broader turf war with the classic Mister Softee ice cream trucks. Apparently some of that bad blood extends to other food groups.