The Loudest Car In The World

Richie Warren is addicted to speed.

For years he’s been running the breaks and drum and bass label Fuel, putting out bass-heavy records with Tipper, Buckfunk 3000 and others and playing shows all over Europe and America. But the music seemed to be lacking something. It was missing the high-octane poisonous methyl odor that only high performance engines burn. So he combined heavy bass with methyl octane and made the loudest car stereo in the world. The 10 000-watt stereo is so loud, in fact, it takes two cars to make it happen. It’s a one-of-a-kind sound system where turntables are set up between two cars that act as left and right speakers. One car is the right channel and the other is the left channel. Each car is entirely bass, while the mids and highs extend from the trunk on hydraulic lifts. The Fuel sound system has been terrorizing neighborhoods and inciting riots all over England and America and, after drowning out Prodigy from the mainstage at the Redding festival, the cars have been banned from most outdoor festivals in England. But fuck England. Fuel has its sights set on the US and is in the process of assembling both a new car and proper team for NHRA racing in the American deep south. It’ll take millions, but Richie isn’t worried. “They said I’d never be able to run a label and build the cars. Then they said the cars would never have enough power to run the sound system. Fuck that. People are such lazy wimps.”