Holy crap, did you hear about this? Science may have discovered a way to safely fuck a person with AIDS without a condom. All you have to do is smear a little estrogen on the tip, let it thicken the keratin level in your foreskin, and you're set. Oh yeah, and you have to be uncircumcised. Oh yeah, and the effect only lasts a couple days, so you have to keep a supply of topical estrogen on hand. Oh yeah, and the likelihood of viral transmission is way lower for the penis than the ass, unless you've got any sort of small open cuts or breaks in the skin like from say, accidentally having your uncut foreskin tugged back and forth slightly too hard. Nevertheless, good going Science! Let's see what else that balding, bespectacled little field has done for us lately…How about, oh I don't know, solving a little thing called the riddle of why people in the 80s looked goofy? Turns out it's not because they intentionally dressed in day-glo unionsuits, elastic-cuffed cargo pants, and those really skinny sunglasses like that guy outside the high school at the beginning of Sixteen Candles for fun. No, it's because their haircuts were "asymmetrical." Doye! The only chink I can see in this thesis is that anybody who parts their hair technically has an "asymmetrical haircut," but it's not like anybody generally noted for their attractiveness has done that outside of the 80s. Nobody like Frank Sinatra, Veronica Lake, Paul McCartney, Brad Pitt, Marilyn Monroe, Rudolph Valentino, Steve Malkmus, or Marlon Brando. But whatever, it's not like some professor from Oxford is saying this shit on national TV or anything.