It is a well known fact that any sufficiently popular form of communication will eventually be used for sexual purposes. The written word gave us the erotic novel, texting has spawned sexting, and even adorable, bubbly emoji have been repurposed to communicate some pretty raunchy messages rather far from the original intentions of the members of the Unicode Consortium—as long as you're looking to talk about dick.
Yes, for all the popularity and infamy of the eggplant emoji, there's no equally popular vulval equivalent. It's a tragedy for anyone looking to engage in equal opportunity emoji sexting.
It's not that people aren't using emoji to talk about vaginas. When surveyed, the emoji sexters I know online were all too happy to dish about their favorite ways to emojically render the pussy. But for some reason, there's no common consensus about what emoji best represents the ladybits.
Unlike the eggplant (which easily trounced the banana, its only real competition), no emoji has yet to come forward as a leading labial contender—and perhaps that's why discussions of erotic emoji always end up seeming so phallocentric. After all, if we can't unify behind one single vulva symbol, how can we ever come together to rally for emoji vulva pride?
So, in the spirit of equal opportunity erotic emoji, I've rounded up some of the leading contenders for vulva emoji, along with a list of their pros and cons. Hopefully we'll be able to come to a consensus about which one should stand along the eggplant in the lexicon of erotic emoji… or at least encourage Instagram to ban a few more emoji tags.
Pros: A sweet little fruit with the perfect amount of fuzz and delicious little cleft, peaches are already a pretty perfect stand in for the vulva. Also keeps with the fruit and vegetable theme, which is appealing if you're into consistency within your sexting emoji.
Cons: Cursory research suggests this is frequently used as a butt emoji, creating potential for confusion and unintended offers of butt sex.
Pros: Get it? A pussy cat? This one is almost too easy.
Cons: If we're going this route, we should probably switch the eggplant for the rooster emoji, and we're way too far down the eggplant road to make that switch.
Pros: If you've got the latest set of emoji, these are available in a wide range of skin tones, meaning you can customize them to better reflect the race of you or your sexting partner.
Cons: Works best when paired with the phallic pointing finger, meaning it only makes sense when you're specifically referencing a vagina that's about to be penetrated by a penis. Let's not forget there's a whole other range of activities, both emoji based and IRL, that vulvas can get up to.
Pros: One respondent referred to this as "the glowing vagina," and those ethereal rays do offer a nice reminder of how special the vulva is. Also, like the hand gesture emoji, it can be used to depict skin tones ranging from dark brown to Simpsons yellow.
Cons: There's already a good deal of confusion over whether these are praying hands or a high five, do we really want to add another layer of confusion?
Pros: A honeypot has a hole, beyond which a sweet, delicious, sticky nectar can be found. So far, so good. There's also the fact that, in espionage terms, a honeypot is a person who uses the powers of seduction to acquire covert information or betray a target (which makes this one pretty badass emoji).
Cons: Looks nothing like a vulva, could suggest an interest in food play. Plus, honey + vulva = yeast infection.
Pros: There's a long, proud tradition of using flowers as symbols for female genitalia, and certain versions of this emoji look incredibly yonic. Plus, you know, the vulva has two lips (get it?).
Cons: Actually, the vulva has four lips. And who are you, Georgia Fucking O'Keefe?
Pros: Taco is well known as a slang synonym for vulva (just ask Urban Dictionary, which rates this definition second only to "the best food ever made"). And as a food item, it pairs well with the eggplant (especially since eggplant tacos sound completely delicious). Also, as far as I know, no one is using it to represent butts.
Cons: The taco emoji is only available on platforms with the very latest emoji set, meaning you're out of luck if you're sending this to someone on Android or an old version of iOS. But if you can limit your emoji sexts to people with the most recent version of iOS, this one is the pretty clear winner.