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The Guy Who Invented the Taco Cannon Is an American Hero

Despite its intimidating name and design, the Voodoo Taco cannon is actually more of a food delivery system than it is an actual cannon.

by Nick Rose
Oct 21 2015, 10:00pm

The list of food weaponry is long.

As a form of political dissent, it's something that goes as far back as pelting turnips at Roman governor in 63 AD and has evolved to the more modern tactic of a pie in the face. And in terms of its use as a chemical weapon, look no further than the exploding can of pickled herring which filled the air with rotten fish guts and left a huge crater at a Swedish music festival.

Apparently, the effects of mustard gas were so brutal that Hitler refused to use it on enemies during WWII after having been partially blinded by it during WWI.

Heck, food can even be used as a sexual weapon.

READ: Root Ginger Is a Dominatrix's Secret Weapon

But, in this day and age, the cutting edge of food weapons has to be the taco cannon.

The Voodoo Taco cannon, despite its intimidating name and design, is actually more of a food delivery system than it is an actual cannon (which exists purely to kill people), to be fair. Though, it could quite easily be used to inflict bodily damage.

That's because the cannon, which was designed by Omaha restaurant owner Eric Newton, is being used for the forces of good and not evil. In a promotional partnership with the nearby University of Nebraska-Omaha, Newton will be firing away at the 7,900 or so audience members of a college hockey game.

And to test the speed and accuracy of his cannon before the big game, Newton has been shooting it at Nebraska-Omaha goalie Ryan Massa, who has the jersey stains to prove it. "I'm hoping to get one past him," Newton says on the YouTube video.

"I'm wrapping them up pretty good," Newton told Yahoo! Sports. "They might be pretty hard to get to, so I'm including a little gift card with them. I'm [also] putting a disclaimer [saying] they'll still taste good, but they did get fired out of a taco cannon, so here's a little gift card to come over to the restaurant and eat, so if they don't want to unwrap it they don't feel cheated. I don't blame them if they won't unwrap them."

READ: A Brief History of Furious People Attacking Politicians with Food

The on-ice R&D yielded important results too. "I had [the taco cannon] re-engineered a bit so that I could adjust the pressure and shoot it at different lengths because it was coming in pretty fast if you saw that Ryan Massa video. I think some people were worried."

And for those who think that taco weapons tech is a flash in the pan, Newton also has plans to develop the taco turret. Yes, that kind of turret, mounted on the arena's zamboni, for a little extra range and firepower.

Clearly Newton is a visionary. Is it just a coincidence that this man shares a last name with one of the most brilliant scientific minds ever? Who knows. But Newton is definitely an American hero, because no matter which end of that thing you are on, you are living the dream.