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Week 15 NFL Game Previews: A Showcase in Denver for AFC Contenders

Broncos-Steelers has huge implications for the playoff picture. The NFC East and AFC South continue to be neck and neck for "football's biggest dumpster fire."
Photo by Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

Game of the Week: Pittsburgh at Denver, 4:25 ET, CBS

There are games this week with more on the line, but this one has huge implications for the current playoff picture. The Steelers are in a three-team tie for the last two AFC playoff spots. After last week's win against the Bengals, which left Andy Dalton sidelined, Pittsburgh can still harbor some dreams of the AFC North title. Pittsburgh's pass offense has been tearing things up over the past five weeks. Their only game with a passing offense DVOA below 59 percent was in Seattle.

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Things aren't going quite as well with Denver. The "Brock Osweiler isn't a washed-up Peyton Manning!" sheen has worn off. The Broncos have put up poor passing games against division opponents each of the past two weeks. Since they can't run, this is a big problem.

That said, DeMarcus Ware has returned, and Denver's defense is back to bullying people after a mid-season swoon. This is going to be a best-on-best showcase—at least when the ball is going one way. Pittsburgh's defense has been acceptable this year, but Denver's offense? Not so much.

Pick: Pittsburgh 23, Denver 16

READ MORE: Fantasy Football Dating App, Week 15

Football Nerd Game of the Week: Arizona at Philadelphia, 8:30 ET, NBC

The NFC East is the garbage show that's socially acceptable to put on in prime time. Remember how According to Jim ran for eight seasons and 182 episodes? Of course you don't. Nobody actually watched According to Jim, but it was just generic enough to continue to find its way on the prime-time lineup. I guess this makes the AFC South something avant-garde and terrible—the Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire of 2015.

Now, imagine if According to Jim was aired in an America that had only a two-channel network broadcast, and the other channel was showing Friends. This is an accurate metaphor for this matchup. The Eagles have played one good game in the past month. The Cardinals are a statistical juggernaut. Carson Palmer is critically acclaimed, and they still have something to play for.

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Don't worry, there will be plenty of NFC East football in prime time for the rest of the year. Jim Belushi thanks you for watching.

Pick: Arizona 27, Philadelphia 18

Carson Palmer, four out of four stars on Yelp. Photo by Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Playoff Positioning Game of the Week: Houston at Indianapolis, 1 ET, CBS

If you pay enough attention to head coaches and media availability, you'll recognize the coded words. Few coaches are arrogant enough to want to provide bulletin-board material, but they still have to discuss their opponent. So NFL coaches have coded words for any player below "good." The adequate linebacker "is working hard." The safety that blows all the assignments is "aggressive."

This game, a game that will decide divisions, is a quarterback matchup of T.J. Yates and either Charlie Whitehurst or Matt Hasselbeck. Both Yates and Whitehurst were on the street for large stretches of this season. Coaches now get to force praise on them. "He's got a lot of poise, and he really takes his time with each play as far as in the meeting room," Texans offensive coordinator George Godsey said about Yates. Poise is what you praise when you've got nothing else. Hasselbeck's injury has limited him in practice, so I'm picking this game as if he's not going to play.

Sad as this is, the Texans are both the "hotter" team in this game and the team with the best unit: their defense. Houston has never won in Indianapolis. I am going to pick them to win this game if Whitehurst starts. The Texans have two more games after this, against the Jaguars and the Titans. One could argue that this is the toughest game they have left.

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The AFC South is so, so stupid.

Pick: Houston 19, Indianapolis 16

Denting Playoff Hopes Game of the Week: Carolina at New York Giants, 1 ET, FOX

Denting for other teams, that is.

There's an inherent problem with the NFL that I don't know how to solve: when a team clinches everything they can clinch, they no longer have an incentive to care. They can try to get to 16-0, of course, but that doesn't actually change anything for them in the future. Jonathan Stewart is already scratched from this game, putting Carolina's running back on par with New York's.

The other amusing subplot of this game is the Josh Norman/Odell Beckham, Jr., matchup. "Looking at some of the stuff my opponent possesses, it's enticing," Norman said. "And it's very edible. I'm looking forward to it." Norman sounds like a poorly translated video-game villain.

Of course, if Beckham did go off, in this metaphor that would be something of a glitch. Norman has held all-star receivers to pedestrian lines all season, and if he continues to do so in this game, the Giants don't have any other options. But the Panthers probably aren't trying full-bore here, and the Giants, if nothing else, are confounding. Let's chalk up an upset.

Pick: Giants 20, Panthers 19

Can the Giants turn Eli Manning's frown upside down? Photo by Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Prime-Time Game That Shouldn't Be: New York Jets at Dallas, 8:30 ET (Saturday), NFL Network,

Don't get me wrong, the Jets are a fun watch at this point. It's just that the concept of piling Saturday games onto the schedule needed to go out of as soon as Thursday night started to exist. Nobody needs four football game days every week, especially when it comes down to figuring out who is on regular rest the week after that. Half the games in Week 16 and 17 are played by half-awake (read: amphetamine-fueled) men that haven't healed from the week before.

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This is the game that can bury Jerry Jones's dream of the Cowboys making the playoffs at 6-10. One more loss eliminates them from the picture. Matt Cassel has been so bad that even Troy Aikman is calling out Kellen Moore to come on down from the pen. Dallas has said that won't happen. Why should anything about their season entertain us?

Cowboys look to squelch reporters with strict new media policy: https://t.co/VRYvoOJcyc
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) December 15, 2015

I'm sorry, I'm actually not sure if I'm allowed to write about the Cowboys now. So: the Jets.

The Jets have only this one gimme left. Their next two games are against the Patriots and the Bills. My guess is there will be enough motivation to put this game away before halftime.

Pick: Jets 32, Cowboys 10

Only Available on Local Broadcasts Game of the Week: Miami at San Diego, 4:30 ET, CBS

It's rare you see a Chargers game not even hit the air in Los Angeles. This is where Mike McCoy and Tom Telesco have taken this team. Well, that and the whole "Chargers to LA" movement. Which, again, is why I'm surprised this game isn't even on TV there.

The Dolphins have managed to be the most disappointing team in a division that includes Rex Ryan sabotaging his own defense. Let's check in on what ownership is doing about it!

Dolphins are telling multiple season ticket holders they can no longer renew b/c they resold their seats too many times on tix exchange.
— Armando Salguero (@ArmandoSalguero) December 16, 2015

Ah, yes, that's the real problem here. Some would suggest that a better way to get hometown fans into the seats is to create a culture of winning. But, hey, this could work too. Either way, you'll make money!

Pick: Dolphins 23, Chargers 21