Oh yeah, the end is definitely nigh.
Our office is in New York City, and we’ve had this sudden wave of early spring weather here the past few weeks. The sun’s out, the temperature’s climbing above 50 degrees, and some enterprising young women are even going out in the streets with bare legs. Great news, right? WRONG, ASSHOLE! This is just another sign of global warming/climate change; today you can walk around without a heavy jacket, tomorrow we’ll be drinking our own piss in a Waterworld-esque dystopia. We went outside to ask the common man if this unseasonable weather was making him worry about global warming.
Jonathan: Well yes, it is. I actually studied environmental science in college. And it does indeed make me worry, but when you work outside like this, it’s kinda nice when it’s warm.
So there are benefits to it?
For now. But I think with the increase in weather-related disasters and stuff like that, we’ll be paying the price in other ways. But a nice day here and there doesn’t hurt I guess.
Erik: Uhhhm… no. I don’t think this is unusual. I think New York has, historically, a lot of radical weather in the winter. And summer.
Do you think Manhattan will end up underwater?
In our lifetime? I doubt it. The entirety of Manhattan? No way.
Do you think people are responsible for global warming?
It’s more solar activity, solar flare activity, and major tectonic activity in the planet. There are Russian scientists doing tests in the Aleutian Islands near Alaska on these huge plumes of methane that are coming out of the frozen sea floor. These giant plumes of methane are a third of a mile in diameter. And there are thousands of them.
What's that have to do with global warming?
Methane is much more toxic than carbon. So global warming is probably more a result of celestial change in the solar system than human or naturally-released carbon.
Why do so many people think otherwise?
It's a political scheme by fat, overpaid capitalists like Al Gore who are trying to make money on theories like human-induced global warming.
W.C.: No, because I was in Hamburg last week and it was cold as shit, so I think it’s just shifting from place to place. I know it’s real and all. I dunno. I might get drunk and go surfing after this.
What if Manhattan ends up underwater?
I live in Morningside, I got beachfront property.
Ben: Oh yes. It very much makes me think about global warming. Can you believe this is February and it’s this beautiful outside? As much as I love it now, it’s fucking crazy.
Do you think people will be more aware of global warming as it gets closer to the summer?
Yeah, I definitely think so. I mean, as nice as it is now, eventually I think it’ll settle into people’s minds that this is not how the weather should be, especially as it gets warmer.
Are you doing anything to slow down global warming?
I ride my bike everywhere because I have no car.
Michael: I always think about global warming because I believe the planet is sick and in danger.
Really? It's that bad?
I think the end of the world is coming with all these calamities and stuff. Look at this winter, it hasn’t snowed once—it hailed. What’s up with that?
So, the world is going to end just because it didn't snow?
I know it’s gonna happen, and I think that man is pushing it forward—like what they’re doing to the rainforest and everything with the trees. It’s happening right now as we speak. We’re at war! It’s gonna be World War III, like, very soon.
How are you spending your time until the end of days? I practice Taoism, which is a form of Buddhism and personal consciousness. I also study religion as a hobby, but I’m a musician. I’m a lead singer in a band.
Of course you are.
Previously – What Would Your Last Meal Be