"I'm into it. Meat all the way. Bacon on tits. Then you cook it and eat it. The grease mixes with the sweat, and the fat and meat marble together, and it becomes arousing."
Sex and eating are both wonderful activities that are essential to the survival of the human race. Somewhere back in the mists of time, however, an enterprising man or woman decided that it would be fun to combine the two and now we live in a world where mainstream magazines tell you to have your man lick whipped cream off of your breasts, and people on the internet are advising others to “try a large peach. Hollow out the middle and slide it back and forth over the head of his penis and shaft while giving him oral sex.” Does that sound fun? Gross? A waste of a perfectly good piece of fruit? We decided to ask passersby what they thought of mixing the two best things to do with your mouth.
Simon, screenprinter: It depends on your mindset. Personally, I don’t think I would enjoy it. I guess when I’m having food, I just like to enjoy my food for what it is, and to crossbreed that with sex just never really crosses my mind.
Could you ever mix the two?
I think everyone should be open to new things.
If you were trying to impress a girl with a food fetish, what you bring to her house?
I guess the cliché food would be oysters because it’s an aphrodisiac, but oysters during sex would just be a mess.
Larissa, artist: I tried it once, and it went over so badly that I feel a little bit scared to do it again at this point. I think it’s hot, conceptually. I feel like there’s a lot of people who have hang-ups around food and sex, so it could be a potential trigger, but I also feel like relationships are supposed to be there so we can work through trigger issues anyway.
How’d it go when you tried it?
My ex and I were a little into SM, and so there was an idea of incorporating berry juice and chocolate. I tried to surprise him, and he was just so grossed out by it.
What did you do with the food?
I had some painting going on down there, and he was like, “Ugh, you’re some kind of weird hippie!” And I thought we had talked about it so it was OK. Well, it had entered into the realm of possibility anyway. It’s not like I said, “I’m going to surprise you Wednesday night by painting chocolate on my vag.”
But you would try it again?
Yeah, if the person was into it.
Jen, gallery manager: I feel like it could be interesting, but generally it’s kind of strange. Maybe if you do it right.
How would you do it right?
I’m thinking icing or something could be really interesting, but it would also be really messy.
Would you want to use sweet food or something salty?
Probably sweet because salty is already what a body tastes like. Fresh fruit might be nice.
Becca and Tanya, nanny and music distributor
Becca: I’m into it. Meat all the way.
Um, what do you mean by that?
Becca: Bacon on tits. Then you cook it and eat it. The grease mixes with the sweat, and the fat and meat marble together, and it becomes arousing.
Tanya: I confirm this. There’s nothing else to say.
Previously: What Do You Do?