We sent our interns out looking for joy and they came back with misery.
If you're a regular reader of our new-ish column, Question of the Day, you've probably noticed that so far we've tended to err on the side of misery. Sure, sometimes it's fun to ask people to consider how they'd like to be maimed, to relive drug-induced hell-trips or to pick an animal to batter out of existence with a brick. But we didn't want our website to die of sadness, so we sent some interns out looking for joy.
Here's what they came back with.
VICE: Excuse me, what was the happiest moment of your life?
Conrad: It was when my ex-girlfriend told me she was pregnant.
Yes. She was not faithful. It was not mine.
And that was the happiest moment of your life? That's brutal.
She's that kind of woman. I don't know... When she told me she was pregnant, that was the happiest moment of my life.
Eesh. Thanks for talking to me Conrad, hope I didn't ruin your day.
Arounas: All the moments in my life have been happy. Trying to find the happiest moment is a problem.
So your entire life was entirely fantastic?
There are a lot of moments for me; My first daughter, best moment of my life. My second daughter, best moment of my life. My third daughter, best moment of my life. Now I have three grandchildren!
Three daughters and three grandchildren? That’s pretty happy.
Yes, all girls. And each of them is the happiest moment in my life.
Jay: When I met my girlfriend in Ibiza. Well, my ex-girlfriend. Now I’m trying to get her back. After our first night together, we went to a restaurant called L'Elephant, which is quite fancy. At some point she went to the bathroom, and as she was coming back I noticed the way the light hit her—she was wearing this purple dress. And I thought: "I’ve never been so in love." That was the happiest moment of my life.
That’s really sweet. I hope you get her back.
Well, we split up because I was too focused on work; on making money and getting married, having kids... I didn’t look after her.
Do you think you have a chance to win her heart once again?
I AM going to get her back.
Charlie: Going to a Wilco gig. They’re my favorite band. It was at the Roundhouse, and the sound quality was so good. I was also with my best friend in the world, so I think that was my happiest moment so far.
It sounds like you have a pretty amazing friend.
Alan: I haven’t a clue. I haven’t gotten there yet. When it happens, it’ll happen.
Has nothing come close?
Nope. Every day is the same.
So, nothing good has ever happened to you?
Nope. Not really.
Hang in there Alan, I've got a feeling things are gonna turn around for you very soon.
Previously: What's the Worst Thing You've Ever Smelled?