A Trump Cabinet Meeting Turned into a Bizarre Ass-Kissing Contest

"Mr. President, we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you've given us to serve your agenda and the American people."

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Jun 12 2017, 7:45pm

Image: Olivier Douliery/Pool via Bloomberg/Getty Images

Donald Trump may not be accomplishing much by conventional standards, but he's doing his darnedest to earn the title of the thirstiest president ever.

On Monday, Trump took a break from yelling on Twitter about how the "fake media" is against him and found another way to stroke his pathological need for affection. During a televised cabinet meeting, he said he had done as much as any president from FDR, then asked the assembled crew of billionaires, retired generals, and arch-conservative politicians what they thought the administration's accomplishments thus far had been. It was an exercise in attempting to satiate Trump's insatiable ego, and all the officials took the opportunity to kiss as much presidential ass as possible.

"It's the greatest privilege of my life to serve as vice president to a president who is keeping his word to the American people, and assembling a team that's bringing real change, real prosperity, real strength back to our nation," Vice President Mike Pence frothed.

"While we are bragging about international travel I just got back from Mississippi and they like you there," Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue loyally gushed.

When CIA director Mike Pompeo's turn came, he indulged the president's love of both cussing and insulting the press: "In the finest tradition of the CIA, I'm not gonna say a damn thing in front of the media."

But the most intense moment of this bizarre roundtable was when Chief of Staff Reince Preibus stepped up to the plate. Like many of his colleagues, Preibus is reportedly on thin ice with Trump, so he prostrated himself before the president like a medieval courier who can hear the executioner polishing his axe: "On behalf of the entire senior staff around you, Mr. President, we thank you for the opportunity and the blessing that you've given us to serve your agenda and the American people. And we're continuing to work very hard every day to accomplish these goals."

Trump seemed very pleased by all of this, so good job everyone!

Follow Eve Peyser on Twitter.

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