On Thursday, the Atlantic published a feature on Ted Cruz's wife, Heidi. And while the article didn't really "spill the beans" on the lurid skeletons Trump supposedly thinks she has lurking in her closet, it did give us one very explosive tidbit of information about her husband, a guy currently locked in a heated fight for his Texas Senate seat, and if it's true, it may fundamentally alter the entire state of the race as we know it. Are you ready?
Apparently, Ted Cruz loves the Disney song "A Whole New World." He loves it so much that he insisted on playing it at his goddamn wedding. From the Atlantic:
Which is how Heidi found herself planning a May wedding to a man who, for all his pretension, insisted they play “A Whole New World,” the popular Disney song, at the end of the ceremony. She didn’t understand: They had a band, she told him—a violinist, no less! Why on earth would they play a CD? “Because no one can do Aladdin,” he said. She relented, and it became a theme of sorts. Or that’s how she remembers it, anyway. On a magic carpet ride.
Now, of course, there is nothing wrong with loving Disney musicals—there are plenty of bangers out there. The Lion King soundtrack is tight as hell, "You Can Fly! " slaps, and even Aladdin is stacked with hits like "One Jump Ahead" and whichever songs Robin Williams sang on. Even just reading the titles gets the tunes stuck in your head.
But no. Ted Cruz went with this:
But, for the love of all that is holy, "A Whole New World"? That maudlin, saccharine trash? The song that middle schoolers screech during a karaoke night if they want to prove their vocal chops? "A Whole New World" is an objectively trash song. Has Cruz no taste or decency or self-respect or—well, OK, this is the same man who called Kavanaugh a "victory for America" and is still sucking up to Trump years after the president accused his father of killing JFK and also blamed that MILF porn fiasco on a staffer—so decency and self-respect are probably out of the question.
There are half a century's-worth of sweet, romantic Disney tunes to bring people to tears at a wedding. Ted Cruz picked "A Whole New World." Take that as you will, dear Texas voters, when you go to the polls this November.
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