Piers Morgan, a man who looks like Peppa Pig's entire family was melted down and then re-sculpted into the closest approximation of a human face, has some thoughts about Simon Cowell's recent weight loss.
"Annoyingly, Simon Cowell has gone on this ridiculous…he claims it’s a vegan diet," Morgan harrumphed during Monday's episode of Good Morning Britain. "I don’t think it is. Now he’s lost all this weight, he a bit like a sort of very sculpted waxwork dummy now."
Cowell, who still appears with his weird jeans on Britain's Got Talent, America's Got Talent, and The X-Factor, has dropped more than 20 pounds in recent months. In March, he claimed that he'd been following the Eric Cowell Diet, and was eating vegetables and drinking mostly water just like his five-year-old son. He also admitted that he'd made some other pretty significant dietary changes, too.
"I went to see this guy who’s very well-known. And he said to me, after doing some blood work, 'You can’t have red meat, dairy, sugar, bread or gluten,'" Cowell said at the time. "I’m thinking, 'What about alcohol?' And he said, 'Maybe not quite as much as you had before.' And I did it and I stuck to it and it’s easy." (He admitted to Extra that he still craves pizza, which is relatable, and that he doesn't ever have cheat days, which isn't.)
But Amanda Holden, one of Cowell's Britain's Got Talent co-judges, says that his weight loss isn't just because he's ignoring pizza and pretending that cheat days aren't a thing. "He’s drinking lightweight beers, that’s the secret," she told Morgan. "And I tasted it because I thought it was gonna taste, like, naff. Actually it’s quite decent."
She might be right about him switching up his brews: In July, Cowell was seen leaving a taping of Britain's Got Talent with a cigarette in one hand and a Skinny Lager in the other. (According to the Skinny Brands website, one bottle of Skinny Lager has 89 calories, three grams of carbs, and a modest 4% ABV). But his affinity for light beer might not be a new thing: In 2015, he tweeted, "Does anyone in London sell Corona light beer. We have run out."
TBH, Cowell will probably address his beer preferences at some point, because he honestly can't stop talking about his diet, previously explaining to TV presenter Lorraine Kelly that he'd overhauled his fridge because he had "every food allergy going."
"I was allergic to melon, so I didn’t eat it for six months, but I saw this [doctor] and he explained it and it made sense," he said. "Like, I used to have yogurt in the morning and I changed it to almond-milk yogurts."
"I have almond milk in my tea."
Alright, that's all we nee–
‘I can eat certain fruits but not all fruits. You have to be careful because some fruit can have more sugar than a can of Coke."
Yup, we've heard.
"Once you get into a pattern I’ve found it quite enjoyable."
Is that my phone? My phone is definitely ringing.
"It has helped me sleep and I wake up feeling less tired. I noticed a massive difference in how I felt in about a week."
"I don’t like to use the word diet because that’s the reason I never went on a diet before — the word diet makes me miserable."
Are we good here? We're good.